[imagesource: eNCA]

Nomazulu Singata is a young graduate who has researched the South African social phenomenon of blesser-blessee relationships among young South African women.

With a master of arts in ethics degree from the University of KwaZulu-Natal, Singata explored the attitudes of young women towards these kinds of relationships, as well as the opportunities and constraints that come with being a blessee.

We’ve all heard the terms ‘sugar daddy’ and ‘blesser’ being thrown around, which we understand as mainly wealthy men getting into relationships with their less advantaged counterparts (the sugar baby or blessee) in exchange for a fancy lifestyle.

But Singata draws a fine line between the two kinds of men, reports City Press:

“This study,” Singata wrote, “disagrees with the view that the sugar daddy concept is the same as the blesser concept.

The difference is that sugar daddies are twice the age of blessees and they are mainly looking for sex, while blessers do not necessarily only want sex, but also want companionship.”

On the other side of the coin, the study aims to shed light on the psyche of the blessee who does not see herself as naive or submissive, but rather as educated, ambitious, and actively desiring such a relationship:

She sees herself as the new sex-positive agent, disrupting old norms and re-imagining power dynamics in what has been historically portrayed as predatory relationships.

In fact, a blessee often uses this opportunity to start her own business and forge her own path in life, where it can often seem impossible to do so in this country.

Singata found four main factors that contributed to young women seeking these transactional kinds of relationships: peer pressure, unemployment, gender inequality, and poverty.

Additionally, social media being is a massive enabler of these kinds of partnerships.

Her research draws strong parallels between the issues of gender equality and poverty:

“The current gender inequality in South Africa is part of the reason young women resort to blesser-blessee relationships, and whether the decision to do so is based on free will and rationality,” she said.

“Embedded within gender inequality is poverty, which is also one of the reasons the blessee participates in the relationship.”

TimesLIVE has more:

“Some of these women said they were not able to pay their fees and other expenses due to poverty. So having such relationships took the burden off their parents.

“Surprisingly those who got into such relationships due to peer pressure didn’t always know it was peer pressure. Some thought that they just liked the lifestyle, but in reality it’s because they were influenced by their peers, mostly via social media.

“Social media is a catalyst of such relationships. Seeing their friends shopping internationally and having the latest expensive wig or fashion entices young people, even if they won’t admit that it’s peer pressure.”

While many young women have benefitted from this kind of relationship, there are also some very serious negative consequences.

Of course, it’s all in the hands of the person with the most power (read: money):

“It is usually blessers and mostly men who tend to have more power and money, which sometimes makes women vulnerable to gender-based violence, as they are expected to be more submissive to their well-off and connected partners.”

The negative consequences often lead to health risks and gender-based violence towards the blessees, with death being a very serious threat, too.

Demanding safe sex is a big challenge as the power dynamics can see the blesser feeling entitled to the blessees body however they see fit:

“Power dynamics can also result in a blesser having so much power that the blessee ends up yielding to an abusive relationship,” she said.

At the end of the day, Singata hopes that the study will encourage everyone to focus on the causes of why many young South African women choose to become blessees, instead of just dwelling on the consequences of the phenomenon.

She believes that finding solutions for the causes could empower women from the ground up and prevent blesser/blessee relationships from developing.

[sources:timeslive&citypress]