[imagesource: Pam Golding Properties]

Look, but don’t touch.

That’s basically what Cape Town’s beaches have been reduced to under alert level 3, unless you happen to live in the Deep South, where different rules apply.

Even then, the actual rules are all a little hazy, with lawyers debating exactly what is and isn’t allowed.

Our police, led by ‘prat in a hat’ Bheki Cele, have shown themselves to be fond of nabbing those who flout the rules, and I wonder if anybody has told them about the wild scenes at Camps Bay Beach.

Look at these heathens, with no regard for the law.

Wait. Hang on. Let’s get in a little closer:

Are those mannequins?

Get prepared for pixels, but we are going in even closer:

Confirmed – mannequins.

Like chumming the water for police.

We are hoping to have somebody on the scene to film what happens next, and will keep you posted.

Residents in the area should expect to see the tanks rolling in soon to deal with the situation.

You have been warned.

Thanks, Alex