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Let me start by saying I’m sorry for bringing this to your attention.

I saw it recently, came to the conclusion that I don’t want to suffer alone, and now I’m dragging you down with me.

Welcome to a world where you’re aware of a Lifetime ‘mini-movie’ titled A Recipe For Seduction, starring Mario Lopez, which will air on Sunday (December 13) and is slated to be around 15 minutes long.

Where to begin? First of all, it’s pronounced ‘Kernel’ Sanders, for reasons you’re welcome to dig into down this rabbit hole.

With that out of the way, here’s the synopsis from Lifetime:

As the holidays draw near, a young heiress contends with the affections of a suitor handpicked by her mother. When the handsome chef, Harland Sanders, arrives with his secret fried chicken recipe and a dream, he sets in motion a series of events that unravels the mother’s devious plans.

Will our plucky heiress escape to her wintry happily ever after with Harland at her side, or will she cave to the demands of family and duty?

No, plucky (see what they did there?) heiress, don’t cave.

Trailer time:

The acting remains superior to Emily in Paris in every way, but that’s not saying much.

According to a KFC spokesperson that spoke with Refinery29, “we take our food seriously but like to have fun and not take our marketing efforts too seriously”.

There’s plenty of press coverage ahead of Sunday’s airing, so tick that box, but I’m not sure I agree with the first part of that statement.

[source:refinery29]