I was staying at The Last Word in Kommetjie on Saturday night (they’re running crazy deals at the moment – we took out the whole place – it was awesome) and someone pulled out an unmistakably large bottle of Anthonij Rupert Wyne’s Optima.

“That’s bigger than a magnum!” I squealed, wiping the drool from my mouth, as I imagined bathing in it. “Correct”, came the reply. “This is a jeroboam”, I was informed. I knew that, of course.

And so began the conversation, with everyone chipping in their knowledge of the various wine bottle sizes. ‘Nebuchadnezzar’ was very popular, as was ‘Balthazar’ – with some of us remarking that this must be where the famous New York restaurant got its name from. Gosh, I do miss Balthazar.

Let’s break for a picture:

I took it upon myself to learn the different wine bottle size names and then to deliver it here, for general knowledge hunters and posterity. I made the picture below as a visual guide to the main sizes – so you can see them in comparison to a standard bottle size.

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Good.

You’ll notice that I didn’t deviate from the Optima, because there’s no substitute for quality. I’ll take a case, thanks.

Below is also a more lengthy list of size names and what they hold, courtesy of Go Taste Wine.

Pretty mental, all those names. And the origin of each will probably keep you up at night.

Nebuchadnezzar, of course, was the evil Babylonian king who destroyed Jerusalem.

Balthazar, on the other hand, was one of the three kings who popped in to visit Jesus when he was born. Fact.

You can read up on the rest of the wine bottle origin stories on Wine Mag. They have notes and links giving the origin of each wine bottle size.

Except, peculiarly, the Magnum.

You’d think someone would have helped them out with that one. Here you go, Wine Mag:

You’re welcome.