[imagesource: Cristiano Ronaldo / Instagram]

I honestly have no idea why this is considered newsworthy in the slightest, but Seth seems to think so.

Thus, here we are, talking about Cristiano Ronaldo, the world’s second-best footballer, his “muscular figure”, as the Daily Mail describes it, and life aboard a boat (or yacht, really).

Cool.

Now if you follow Cristiano on Instagram, like 235 million other people, you could bypass us entirely and see the pictures for yourself.

I will assume you don’t, and plonk Ronaldo’s posts below.

Boat, abs, tick:

 

View this post on Instagram

 

On board🛥😉

A post shared by Cristiano Ronaldo (@cristiano) on Aug 10, 2020 at 9:29am PDT

Bikini, boats, abs, tick:

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Happy to share these beautiful moments with you! 👩‍❤️‍👨😘

A post shared by Cristiano Ronaldo (@cristiano) on Aug 12, 2020 at 6:36am PDT

It’s all very riveting stuff.

For those who enjoy a turn of phrase like “her sensational figure in a plunging blue swimsuit that showed off a generous glimpse of her cleavage”, or “a very busty display, as the green striped swimwear gave a generous glimpse of her cleavage.” (yes, those two quotes are within a few lines of another), you’re welcome to head to the Daily Mail for more.

The International Business Times says the following:

…Ronaldo and girlfriend Georgina Rodriguez have been soaking up the sun in a luxury yacht off the coast of Italy in the past week since the conclusion of the Serie A season.

The couple decided to return to dry land for a romantic date night alongside some friends in the picturesque town of Portofino.

That should read “since the conclusion of Ronaldo’s participation in the UEFA Champions League”, after Juventus’ loss to Lyon, despite another Cristiano masterclass.

Now we go to Rodriguez’s Instagram account (just the 20 million followers), for more riveting action:

 

View this post on Instagram

 

☮️

A post shared by Georgina Rodríguez (@georginagio) on Aug 10, 2020 at 6:23am PDT

Cue the Daily Mail writers racking their brains for synonyms for ‘boobs’.

More from Rodriguez:

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Crear contigo el amor y hacer contigo la vida… ❤️

A post shared by Georgina Rodríguez (@georginagio) on Aug 11, 2020 at 4:51am PDT

Good times.

I’m happy for them.

Feel free to go ahead and cut us out of the equation.

Follow Cristiano here, and Georgina here, and spare us the ignominy of covering this shite.

[sources:dailymail&ibt]