[imagesource: Balmoral/ Wikipedia]

Balmoral is a favourite holiday spot for the Royal Family, and where the Queen likes to go to get away from it all.

The general public can visit the grounds, but only if they behave and keep their distance.

If royalty starts mixing with the proles, all order will break down and England will explode, or something – class politics, and all that.

Back to the general public, who have taken to some odd behaviour lately while visiting the castle estate.

Here’s CNN:

Employees at Balmoral Castle, which the Queen frequently visits for holidays throughout the year, have complained about wet wipes being left on the estate and urged people not to use the spot as an outdoor toilet.

Before you assume that the pooping happened out of dire need, remember that these people had the foresight to bring wet wipes along.

Most public places are closed in the United Kingdom at the moment, but people can socialise and exercise outside, leading many to seek out nature and all the experiences that nature has to offer, including, it seems, a poop with a view.

Balmoral took to Twitter to ask people to stop:

Disappointed to see so many wipes discarded on the Estate today. Next to paths and monuments. Please remember there are no public toilets open for miles around at the moment. pic.twitter.com/QRXixXWZRL

— balmoralcastle.com (@Balmoral_Castle) June 27, 2020

I would pay good money to witness the exact moment Her Majesty trod in a pile of human excrement. It will never happen, but we can dream.

Balmoral did acknowledge that when nature calls people must answer, as long as it’s not too close to the castle.

“If you need to pee, please do so at least 30 metres from lochs or streams,” they added in a tweet on Sunday. “If you need to defecate, do so as far away as possible from buildings, paths, water courses and farm animals. Bury faeces in a shallow hole and replace the turf.”

These are strange times indeed when Balmoral staff are issuing guidelines on the correct way to relieve yourself on their grounds.

[source:cnn]