Tomorrow, people around the world will fork out far more money than is necessary in an attempt to prove their love.

You sure do love your significant other, and you sure do love capitalism.

Then there are those that are still looking for love, and out on a Valentine’s Day date that could lead to a lifetime of happiness.

That, or the sort of date that ends up featured in a ‘Valentine’s Day disaster ‘ list, of which there are many.

This BBC list contains one absolute cracker, so let’s get the wheels rolling:

One year, a large box addressed to me was delivered to my office on Valentine’s Day. Colleagues gathered round and, as I was new to the company (and wanted to make friends), I let them watch me open it.

I was seeing a guy at the time, who often gave me gifts, so getting something from him wasn’t a total surprise. Only, it wasn’t from him, it was from his mum. In the box was a bunch of stuff I’d left at his house: underwear, cosmetics and books. And there was a note attached: “Nice to have known you. Good luck with your life.”

He hadn’t messaged for a while and I had just assumed he’d been busy. Turns out that meant he’d ended our relationship and I hadn’t realised. It was like a tragic scene from a rom-com: my work colleagues standing there, staring at my underwear – mortifying. Everyone silently went back to their desks and I never lived it down.

Wow. That really, really hurts. Does this qualify as ‘ghosting’, or ‘Elsa’ing’? I’ll let you decide.

If you’re the type that finds toilet humour amusing, then this next one is dedicated to you.

It starts with a romantic 10-day trip to India, and ends with the flight home, which was rather strangely booked for Valentine’s Day.

As the couple was due to board, Alexandra (not her real name, for obvious reasons) felt her stomach playing up.

You know where this is going:

We were boarding and I motioned to my boyfriend with a panicked look in my eye. He got it immediately. “CAN YOU ALL MOVE OUT OF THE WAY, MY GIRLFRIEND IS ABOUT TO SHIT HERSELF?”

I made it to the plane’s loo about half a second too late. There followed a pretty degrading (but could-have-been-a-lot-worse) clean-up situation. Soon after, I was back in the loo again where I continued to empty myself for the next five hours. I was mortified as I had only been with my boyfriend for nine months.

There’s a slightly happy ending here, in that the boyfriend found it funny.

For the third story, let’s head to the Guardian, and an article featuring all of the awful things servers see customers doing on the day.

Consider this a word of warning to those who may get lippy with their servers tomorrow:

Pressure is no doubt also to blame for an ailment that affects men around this time of year: loudly complaining that the wine is corked (even when it’s not) in order to impress a date. And, yes, while #notallmen are culpable, it is “100% always guys” who do this, according to a waitress-turned-PR who asked to remain anonymous.

She recalls a punter who vociferously insisted that his wine was corked, despite it coming from a screw-capped bottle. “Usually we’d have glossed over something like that, but he was quite rude, so my colleague called him out on it,” she says.

Josh Stephenson-Roberts of Osteria Tufo in north London confirms that behaviour of this kind is a Valentine’s Day staple. “On a new date you will get the guy rejecting the wine.” He finds it funny – but if you are going to try it, first check the bottle was sealed with a cork.

I would pay good money to watch some bloke mouthing off about the wine being corked, only to have his server show him the screw-capped bottle.

Here’s hoping the above list has A) made you lower your expectations ahead of tomorrow and B) made you consider showing your servers a greater deal of respect.

Enjoy Valentine’s Day, whatever you’re getting up to.

[sources:bbc&guardian]