One of my favourite things to do on a date, if it’s going well, is to swap Tinder or OkCupid horror stories.

It seems like everyone has a few tucked away because, until you round someone up to ‘the one’, you’re probably slogging your way through the swamp of online dating.

Just yesterday, we brought you the story of the Cape Town woman who realised that she was being scammed, and then expertly scammed the scammer.

Not all bad dates are criminal, though. Some are just awful.

For example, per Cosmopolitan:

“A guy once messaged me the following on OK Cupid: ‘Meet me at my house dressed as a lobster. I will be in a suit made of latex.'” –Ashley, 27

If that’s what you’re into then more power to you, but you might want to keep that sort of thing for date number five, after a conversation and confirmation that your date is into it, too.

One more, before we get local and head on over to Tamboerskloof.

“A Tinder date slapped me in the face the first time we had sex and then said ‘I love you. Wait no, I didn’t mean to say that.'” –Julia, 26

Run away, run away, run away.

Right, over to W24 for a less-than-ideal date that went down in Cape Town:

I don’t know why I went. When I initially downloaded Tinder my friend who’s used the app for years warned, “Just always make sure to meet in public first.” I didn’t listen, and thought it would be fine to go for a coffee at a stranger’s house

The woman telling her story has chosen to stay anonymous. They also don’t name her date, but Cape Town is small, so if you’re on the app and in the CBD area, you can probably piece things together.

Anyway, she goes to his home, in Tamboerskloof, after doing her due diligence and Googling him. The woman finds out that he is “a relatively well-known local artist”, so she figures everything will be fine.

We meet in his kitchen where he’s busy brewing coffee. “Wow you look beautiful,” he says as he gives me a quick hug. “Thanks. Nice to meet in person,” I respond. We sit down to enjoy our coffee, and hopefully each other’s company.

Cool, everything seems normal so far.

The coffee was strong, but the company so very weak. He was a cocky, arrogant man with very little interest in me, my life or me being comfortable in his home. His responses came across as patronising, and he lacked basic manners.

Thanks to the patriarchy and social conditioning, women will often stay in a bad situation longer than they need to out of fear that they’ll cause offence.

I forced the words out, “I don’t like the way you’re speaking to me, I think I’m going to go.” He didn’t like that. And I suspect it has happened to him before. He questioned my train of thought, but when I didn’t reverse my decision to leave, he said “Then go. For f**k’s sakes.”

Charming. He’s a keeper.

The moral of the story? Don’t feel like you have to stay in a situation that is making you uncomfortable.

Protect yourself, first. Politeness later.

One more horror story from Cosmo for the road:

“I invited him to a party I was going to just to be polite. When we got to the party I told him I had to use the restroom and I’d meet up with him later. Then I ran into some friends and was chatting with them and kind of lost track of time. When I found him, he was just sitting there, waiting for me. He said ‘I thought you ditched me,’ and then he started getting choked up and actually started crying! I gave him a hug and kind of let him cry it out – but I was really relieved when he said he was going home.” –Anna, 32

Too many feelings, too soon.

Stay safe out there.

[source:cosmopolitan&w24]