Time and time again, when South Africa’s crooked and corrupt are hauled before the courts to face up to their crimes, they’re suddenly struck down by illness.

Case in point is Jacob Zuma, who has made a habit out of playing up mystery ailments to dodge the deafening music that awaits him in various courts and commissions around the country.

His latest no-show, for his corruption trial in the KwaZulu-Natal High Court, involved a sick note that is so ridiculous your teenager trying to play hooky at school would be ashamed.

First of all, here’s an image via News24, with some of the points of contention circled:

Before we get to that, let’s mention that the judge wasn’t won over, and a warrant of arrest has been issued against former president Jacob Zuma for non-attendance at his corruption trial.

More on that later.

Zuma’s lawyers said that military doctors took care of Zuma’s health because he was a former president.

News24 breaks down some of Judge Dhaya Pillay’s points of contention, highlighted above:

The first was a seeming alteration to the date of January 6 on the document. “There is an alteration to the date in this document but there is no signature near it,” Judge Pillay said.

The second was the fact that there was no reference to Zuma’s military physician’s practice number. “There is a number here, but it is not labelled as a practice number at any point.”

Third, the term “layman’s diagnosis with consent from the patient” – this was a phrase that [Zuma’s laywer Daniel] Mantsha could not explain. “What does this mean?” Judge Pillay asked.

Her final note was that Zuma’s medical condition was not described in the letter, merely only saying “medical condition”. “This tells us very little,” Judge Pillay said.

‘Medical condition’ – really covering your bases.

Zapiro nailed it with this cartoon, which is from January 16:

Dr. Schaik was a nice touch.

Before you celebrate that warrant of arrest too wholeheartedly, it’s worth noting a few things, again via News24:

While the warrant was issued by Judge Dhaya Pillay, the execution thereof has been stayed until May 6, when Zuma is expected to appear in court again.

This means the former number one will not be cuffed by police and brought before court by force.

As long as Zuma presents himself at his next court date, there will be no police officers hunting him down to arrest him and present him to court.

If Zuma fails to appear at the next court appearance, the warrant will be triggered, forcing law enforcement to arrest him…

With Zuma, it seems like it’s always next time.

I know that winning the Rugby World Cup was a nation-bonding experience, but imagine the vibe of seeing a jail cell door slam shut in his face?

Let’s ask the people…

You’re in Braam….On a Wednesday evening…On Valemtimes…

What did you expect? 😂😂😂 #ZumaResigns pic.twitter.com/Qzkwh1tfKT

— BontleBaAfrika Moloi (@BontleModiselle) February 14, 2018

Exactly that.

[sources:news24&zapiro&news24]