Two notable celebrity memoirs have been released this year.

The first is notable for all the wrong reasons.

Moby’s uncomfortable-to-read memoir Then it Fell Apart is basically a chronicle of the times that Moby managed to get women to sleep with him. It also contains some gratuitous name dropping, his (dark and creepy) thoughts when he couldn’t get women to sleep with him, and a detailed description of that time he made a sandwich.

Needless to say sales and book tours fell apart, and Moby went away for a while. 

The second, and far more interesting notable memoir is the recently released Me by Sir Elton John.

In it, Sir Elton recalls some great firsthand experiences with the likes of the Queen, Princess Diana, and other high-profile celebs.

Over to Town & Country Magazine for that time the Queen slapped her nephew:

Perhaps the most delightful anecdote features the British monarch and her nephew, Princess Margaret’s son Viscount Linley. The Queen requested he go check on his sister, Lady Sarah Armstrong-Jones, who had left a party early after feeling unwell.

Linley did his best to avoid the task, leaving the Queen with no choice but to assert her authority. “When [Linley] repeatedly tried to fob her off,” John wrote, per the Times, “the Queen lightly slapped him across the face, saying ‘Don’t’—slap—’argue’—slap—’with’—slap—’me’—slap—’I’—slap—’am’—slap—’THE QUEEN!'”

She slapped in between each of the words.

Yaaaas, Kween. It gets even better.

Afterwards, he recalls the monarch realizing that John seen the incident, and winking at him. “I know the Queen’s public image isn’t exactly one of wild frivolity, but… in private she could be hilarious,” the musician wrote.

I have a newfound respect for the monarch. Speaking of royalty, it’s no secret that he was close to the late Princess Di, so he obviously has some anecdotes about her.

He met Diana at a party in 1981, and apparently was quickly taken with her. The pair “immediately clicked,” John recalls, and “ended up pretending to dance the Charleston while hooting at the disco’s feebleness.”

He added, “She was fabulous company… a real gossip: you could ask her anything and she’d tell you.”

She also had some trouble with the men around her after her divorce.

Other notable stories include that of Richard Gere and Sylvester Stallone fighting over Diana at one of John’s dinner parties (the men apparently had to be talked down after getting into it in a hallway), and the truth behind a famous photo of Diana “comforting” John at Gianni Versace’s funeral.

“She was leaning just past me, reaching for a mint that David [Furnish] had offered her,” John reveals. “The warm words of comfort… were actually: ‘God, I’d love a Polo.'”

They kinda glossed over the whole Gere v. Stallone thing there.

Gere – maybe…

Stallone – never stood a chance.

[source:town&countrymag]