To be clear, this is NOT a sponsored post. It’s just some advice that I want to share with the world…

My first bank account was at Barclays (before they left the country) and I had a Bob Junior card. The card visuals were a little bit childish for me at the age I was, but I was stoked to have some plastic, nonetheless.

Here’s a quick walk down memory lane for some of you. You may remember these gems, if you cast your mind back far enough…

A few years later I had a Bob T card. Now that was cool. I loved that card. The font they used for the ‘T’ was beyond cool, and the way it faded at the top right of the ‘T’, like a paint stroke.

I remember the ad campaign on TV was so hip  as well. I just had a look for it on the ‘internet’ and couldn’t find it. God, how tragic. I thought all that stuff would be captured by now.

So anyway, I went overseas and I came back and had to get an adult bank account. Barclays was gone and my buddy Stuart Abbott had a Nedbank card. It had an animal on it and they had some campaign going about saving animals. Great vibe. I signed up the next day. I think mine had a panda on the card. Or a penguin or something. I got cheque books and all sorts of stuff.

From that day on, every time I needed a new business account, I opened it at Nedbank. They got me car loans and an Amex Platinum card and all sorts of stuff. I had so much paraphernalia to keep me busy.

But now I don’t want cards or cheque books. It’s 2019. Nobody wants cards or cheque books. And nobody feels like playing bank-bank.

I just want good tech. I just want things to be automated and easy. Like they’re not even happening. And if something has to be done, it needs to be over in a couple of seconds so I can get back to meditating and living the holiday.

So slowly, one by one, I have been moving all my business and personal accounts across from Nedbank to FNB. And now the process is complete – with all my businesses and personal accounts displaying in the same app – in a simple clickable list – one after the other. If there was one thing I would want from a banking app, it’s that. And I’m yet to find another banking app that can just get that one simple thing right.

Except FNB.

Obviously Nedbank cannot get that one thing right. But that doesn’t even begin to chart the massive inconvenience it is, being a Nedbank client.

If I may:

1. Nedbank have not updated their website in years
2. The app is a complete and utter trainwreck, and can seemingly only do one task before requiring another login.
3. You cannot have more than one account in the app. So you have to choose – do you want your personal account on your app? Or your business account? Multiple businesses… forget about it.
4. FOREX requires actual paperwork and does not exist online, let alone on the app. I mean who deals with foreign trade THESE DAYS? This means you have to email them and then someone spends the rest of the day trying to call you from an unknown number. Days go by without anything being achieved. PDFs must be signed etc. etc. Pure pain.
5. You cannot make international payments online, let alone on the app.
6. Nedbank private bankers are ALWAYS ‘on training’.

All of the things above that Nedbank cannot do, FNB can.

Also, my business manager, Bradwyn Booysen, responds to me immediately and trusts me not to abuse his time over WhatsApp (i.e. I have his cell number – imagine that).

People must surely be joining Nedbank purely because they love cheque books and just don’t know any better.

I refuse to believe that Nedbank are increasing their numbers – it’s impossible. No sane person would sign up for Nedbank – there is literally no upside. 

Life is so much better since I moved all my banking from Nedbank to FNB.

Oh, and I did the same for my wife’s personal and business banking – except that was from ABSA to FNB. 

Please don’t get me started on ABSA.

Oh, they have an extra percent interest (or something) on savings accounts? No-one cares. A percent here and there means nothing.

Tech is everything.