As soon as news broke that Jeffrey Epstein had ‘died by suicide’, you just knew the conspiracy theories were going to be out in full force.

Given that his crimes implicate some incredibly powerful and politically connected people around the world, it’s not hard to see why, and it was only a matter of weeks ago that Epstein was rumoured to have tried to kill himself in his cell.

The Queen, the Clintons, Donald Trump, the Illuminati, White Monopoly Capital, Stratcom – who could it have been?

OK, the last two are yet to be drawn into the conspiratorial aspect, but we await comment from the likes of Andile Mngxitama and Jacob Zuma.

Depending on who you ask, it’s all rather clear who ensured that Epstein would never have his day in court. First, covering some of the basics, is Business Insider:

Jeffrey Epstein’s apparent suicide in federal custody is provoking skepticism among online conspiracy theorists and even some officials who question how he could have killed himself in a highly secured part of the jail set aside for high-profile inmates.

Epstein had been placed on suicide watch following an incident just over two weeks ago in which he was discovered with bruises on his neck. But he was taken off of suicide watch at the end of July, a person familiar with the matter told The Associated Press Saturday.

That really does need to be looked into. At best, it’s a serious error of judgement, and at worst, well…

…former federal prosecutors noted that conspiracists will continue to deny facts, even as new information is presented to them, but said that if ineptitude on the part of the detention facility is to blame, there should be consequences for those who did not do their jobs.

“You’ve got power and politics and sex and open questions, and conspiracy theorists are going to run with this no matter what, but it’s important for all of us who are not looking for conspiracies to understand what happened,” Levenson said. “I think it could put the credibility of the criminal justice system on the line, and that’s so important.”

Here’s the thing – whereas these sinister conspiracy theories once existed in obscure corners of the internet, they have now hit the big time.

I mean, here’s what President Donald Trump chose to retweet, in his only (at the time of writing) comment on Epstein’s death:

Died of SUICIDE on 24/7 SUICIDE WATCH ? Yeah right! How does that happen#JefferyEpstein had information on Bill Clinton & now he’s dead

I see #TrumpBodyCount trending but we know who did this!

RT if you’re not Surprised#EpsteinSuicide #ClintonBodyCount #ClintonCrimeFamily pic.twitter.com/Y9tGAWaAxX

— Terrence K. Williams (@w_terrence) August 10, 2019

Madness.

He already got away with saying that Barack Obama was born in Kenya, so why not continue on his merry conspiracy theory-peddling ways?

Naturally, Fox News was chomping at the bit, as the New York Times points out, although those looking to pin it on Trump also sprang into action:

Within minutes, Trump appointees, Fox Business hosts and Twitter pundits revived a decades old conspiracy theory, linking the Clinton family to supposedly suspicious deaths. #ClintonBodyCount and #ClintonCrimeFamily trended on Twitter.

Around the same time, an opposite hashtag — #TrumpBodyCount — emerged, focused on President Trump’s decades-old ties to Mr. Epstein. Each hashtag was accompanied by GIFs and memes picturing Mr. Epstein with the Clintons or with Mr. Trump to serve as a viral accusation of foul play.

OK, so the Clintons could have done it, or maybe it was Trump trying to cover his tracks (he loved a party with Jeffrey back in the day), but what about the Queen?

Well, as the BBC reports, this story also casts a nasty shadow over the Royal Family:

Prince Andrew was accused of groping a woman at Jeffrey Epstein’s US home, according to newly released court papers.

The accusation is contained in documents from a 2015 defamation case, released by a judge on Friday…

Contained in the defamation case papers is an allegation by a woman called Johanna Sjoberg that Prince Andrew touched her breast while they sat on a couch in Epstein’s Manhattan apartment in 2001.

She recalled in the documents: “I just remember someone suggesting a photo, and they told us to go get on the couch. And so Andrew and Virginia sat on the couch, and they put the puppet, the puppet on her lap.

“And so then I sat on Andrew’s lap, and I believe on my own volition, and they took the puppet’s hands and put it on Virginia’s breast, and so Andrew put his on mine.”

The papers relate to a defamation case brought by Virginia Giuffre [pictured with Prince Andrew, above], an alleged victim of Epstein, against socialite Ghislaine Maxwell.

Right, so clearly the Queen ordered the killing of Epstein in order to cover up Prince Andrew’s involvement.

Maybe she enlisted the help of 007? Maybe she asked Idris Elba to do it, in order to prove that he should take over from Daniel Craig in the James Bond franchise?

Look at how she’s smiling, whilst sat next to Andrew on their drive to church yesterday, knowing that she’s covered his tracks:

Can you see what’s happening here?

If ever you needed a look into how toxic, and devoid of fact, much of America’s (and the world’s) political divide is, look no further:

The dueling hashtags and their attendant toxicity are a grim testament to our deeply poisoned information ecosystem — one that’s built for speed and designed to reward the most incendiary impulses of its worst actors. It has ushered in a parallel reality unrooted in fact and helped to push conspiratorial thinking into the cultural mainstream.

And with each news cycle, the system grows more efficient, entrenching its opposing camps. The poison spreads.

Mr. Epstein’s apparent suicide is, in many ways, the post-truth nightmare scenario. The sordid story contains almost all the hallmarks of stereotypical conspiratorial fodder: child sex-trafficking, powerful global political leaders, shadowy private jet flights, billionaires whose wealth cannot be explained. As a tale of corruption, it is so deeply intertwined with our current cultural and political rot that it feels, at times, almost too on-the-nose.

The Q Anon folks are going to be kept busy for years frothing over this one.

Some of the wilder theories have already been debunked, with this from CBS News:

For example, days after his arrest online memes and Facebook statuses wrongly claimed the Obama administration, in order to protect Mr. Clinton, forged a once-secret deal in 2008 in Florida that allowed him to plead guilty to soliciting a minor for prostitution to avoid more serious charges. The deal was actually executed before President Barack Obama took office, under former President George W. Bush.

Meanwhile, a manipulated photo, shared by thousands on Twitter and Facebook, falsely claimed to show Epstein with Mr. Trump and a young Ivanka Trump, the president’s daughter.

Both Mr. Clinton and Mr. Trump have denied being privy to Epstein’s alleged scheme.

Look, there’s plenty to be suspicious about here.

Reports that cameras monitoring The Metropolitan Correctional Center (MCC), the prison where Epstein was being held, malfunctioned on the night of his suicide have not been confirmed, although that hasn’t stopped suspicions running wild.

Some sources suggest that cameras typically don’t point inside the cells in the area where Epstein was being held, but I’m sure they’ll still be closely looked at to monitor everything that happened in the vicinity.

As it stands, the FBI is investigating, and Attorney General William Barr has also ordered the Inspector General to investigate.

By the way, if you’re holding out hope that there will be a tell-all true-crime series coming out shortly, you may have to wait a little longer than expected.

Here’s Refinery29 with a story that was written before Epstein died in his cell:

…a proposed documentary about the billionaire sex offender Jeffrey Epstein has officially been nixed due to its “distasteful” material…

Filmmaker Barry Avrich told the publication that when he was developing the story behind the now-shelved documentary, there was little interest in the subject matter or Epstein. This despite the fact that Epstein was convicted years prior in 2008 for soliciting prostitution from girls as young as 14 and continued to move freely in high-profile circles.

“As I began to dig further into the story, the subject matter became more distasteful to me and I honestly felt there wasn’t much of an audience who would be interested in this film,” Avrich said. “I have since decided to terminate any involvement in this project.”

I’m sure someone will eventually come to the party, although putting that documentary or series together will involve walking a political tightrope.

There’s no doubting that the circumstances of Epstein’s death are highly suspicious, and we may yet find out about something sinister going down in the weeks and months that follow.

For now, though, the fact that his victims will never get to look Epstein in the face in court and see justice being served, and the instant battle for the politicisation of his death, remain a reminder of what a mess of a time we live in.

[sources:businsider&nytimes&refinery29&bbc]