Greg Mitchell has been silent for long enough, which is why he decided to send an email to his former school about the alleged abuse he suffered whilst a student there, knowing that this would ignite a firestorm.

He sent the email in December 2017, and among the recipients were Mitchell’s father and his best friend, the alleged abuser’s wife and his new employer, and the current headmaster of Grey College Primary School.

A full year later, Mitchell had not received a single response from the school, and at this point, he decided to take legal action.

TimesLIVE reports:

Mitchell claims he was groomed and sexually abused during his time at the prestigious Bloemfontein school in 1987, and only three decades later was he able to confront his former coach and form teacher, who had since moved to New Zealand.

“Those 18 months were enough to cause a lifetime of damage to a young, impressionable, trusting 10-year-old boy whom you had taken into your confidence. You groomed me over a period, as all disgusting child abusers do. You led me to believe that somehow, I was special and that we had a special relationship,” he wrote.

…he certainly believed that Grey College would reply – even just to confirm the principal, Jurie Geldenhuys, had received the message. But a year later, Geldenhuys had not responded and, shortly after, Mitchell and his legal team would begin constructing a R20m civil claim against the school for failing to protect its pupils from abuse.

The summons from the civil claim details the abuse, starting from the age of 10, making it clear that the inaction on the part of the school was a mitigating factor:

…the coach had befriended his parents and began grooming him after becoming his form teacher.

As part of the grooming, Mitchell [below] claims he was made to watch a pornographic movie with his coach, who encouraged him to masturbate alongside him. Because a housekeeper was in the home where the incident allegedly took place, Mitchell claims the woman was paid R10 to buy her silence.

In a separate incident, the child was taken to the coach’s room on school property where he was allegedly forced to participate in oral sex.

“When (the coach) was done he asked the plaintiff how it made him feel, to which (he) replied that he wanted to punch (the coach) in the face,” the summons reads. The coach allegedly responded that Mitchell should have punched him in the face if he felt that way, but continued to masturbate in front of him in several other incidents where they had been alone.

“The (school) … failed to ensure a safe environment for the plaintiff and other children in the school … to properly supervise its own employees … to ensure that the plaintiff was not exposed to sexual assault by its employees … As a result … the plaintiff has suffered general damages in the amount of R20m,” the summons read.

You only need to look at the recent case of disgraced former Parktown Boys’ High School water polo coach Collan Rex to see how a “culture of silence” often surrounds sexual abuse incidents at schools around the country.

In response to news of the civil claim, Geldenhuys refused to comment, “because the case is sub judice”.

He added that the case had been handed over to the school’s insurance provider.

In addition to the civil claim, Mitchell has also opened a criminal case:

Mitchell also opened a criminal case against the coach with the Park Road Police Station in Bloemfontein, after the coach responded to his e-mail, admitting to one of the incidents of abuse.

Times Select has seen the e-mail, in which the man wrote: “What happened that afternoon at the Education Centre has never happened again … Why were your folks not checking in on where you were? It was not ideal for you to have been visiting me …

“Punishing me is fine, but destroying my entire family and possibly bringing a great school and community into disrepute for a one-off incident that happened thirty years ago seems unfair …

“I have thought about the incident a great deal and wasted hours of prayers on you. I would like to know how badly the incident affected you and yes – I’m really sorry, as I said that day.”

So the coach accused of sexual abuse blames Mitchell’s parents, adding that he “wasted hours of prayers” on him – well, that doesn’t seem all that contrite.

While that R20 million claim may seem sizeable, Mitchell says that no amount of money will ever undo the emotional turmoil he suffered:

Mitchell told Times Select he spent the majority of his life dealing with the repercussions of the abuse, his anger and shame leading to a life of anxiety, panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. He said it affected his ability to form long-lasting relationships, made him distant from his parents, and unable to disclose what had happened for years. It was only through therapy in the last four years that he finally decided on how to move forward with his life.

Mitchell said that even though he is instituting the massive civil claim against the school, there is no amount that can erase the abuse.

“I know some people will criticise me (for the civil claim) but these aren’t people who’ve been abused, or their children abused … I’m an intensely private person but I’ve had to open up about this … Child abuse has to stop … I’m hoping that others will take my example and come forward with their stories,” he said.

In the wake of the #MeToo movement, and with increased awareness around what constitutes sexual abuse, one hopes that children who suffer at the hands of abusers are encouraged to come forward.

Tragically, with such a stigma attached to being a victim in years gone by (a stigma that is still present today), many victims remain silent.

[source:timeslive]