Noel and Liam Gallagher may well be the most famous sibling fallout in recent music history, and it really is some box-office viewing at times.

The reasons behind that fallout have been well-documented, and you really do need to watch the doccie Supersonic, which charts Oasis’ meteoric rise and subsequent dismantling, but let’s deal with Noel’s latest outburst below.

In an interview with the Guardian, he was typically forthcoming with headline-grabbing quotes, and he started off by saying the interview “is going to end in trouble. It always does.”

That’s why we keep on coming back for more, pal:

“Interviews are an occupational hazard,” he says, settling down with a cup of tea. “But that’s because they’re such weird situations. You’re sat in a room with some guy from Stockholm who you’ve never met and he’s asking you about your mum. It’s fucking preposterous. Because the honest answer to that is: ‘What’s it got to do with you?’ But the smart answer is always: ‘I liked her until she gave birth to Liam.’”

Bang. Headline sorted.

How about this on climate change?

“I’m walking around today in a T-shirt, and I’m thinking …” Gallagher looks up to mock-assess the weather, fully aware he is about to send some Guardian readers berserk, “… it’s not even remotely chilly. Sure, it’ll be bad for my grandkids. But I’ve not met them yet. They might be a load of cunts, d’you know what I mean?”

People often joke that they would welcome the apocalypse, but with Liam, you get the sense that he’s somewhat serious:

“That’s the great thing about nuclear bombs,” he says, introducing the subject of apocalypse with alarming cheer. “Ever since they’ve been invented, everyone’s been like: ‘Hang on a minute, are we going for it or what?’ We’re all fed this thing that the guy from North Korea is an insane lunatic. But he’s into basketball! How mad can he be? So we’ll be all right. As for beyond that, well … fuck the grandkids – remember, they might be cunts. I’ve said it to my sons many times. They go: ‘Dad!’ but I tell them they don’t know who they’re gonna marry. She might be an idiot. Or he might be. We’re all modern men.”

Here’s Noel with his 19-year-old daughter, Anaïs:

Keen for more Liam bashing? Of course, you are:

…just wait until we get to Liam’s recent solo performance at the festival. “I’d read somewhere that it was a headline set in the making, so I thought: ‘Fucking hell, better watch this,’” he says. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so embarrassed for a man in my entire life. He’s pulled off the incredible magic trick of making those Oasis songs sound weedy and thin. And he looked like he was having the worst day of his life, walking around in what looks like a pair of my son’s pyjamas, shouting into a mic about some perceived injustice … if you can’t sing ’em, don’t play ’em!”

If you’re thinking that they may one day reconcile, I wouldn’t put money on it:

Noel nods: “Because I’ve got one fatal flaw in my otherwise perfect makeup as a human being, which is I don’t forgive people. Once you start texting my children – and his two sons have been going for her, too – and legitimise my wife being bullied on the internet, where she has to shut down Instagram accounts because of the vile shit being written about her and my daughter, then it ain’t happening.”

When did he last see Liam?

“At the Etihad Stadium when City won the league about three years ago. Whenever I see him, he’s actually very polite, and you can see in his eyes that he’s just about to piss his trousers. But then he comes up with these scenarios of when we meet, that only ever take place in his own head.” He puts on his Liam voice again: “Ah fuckin’ went over and flicked him in the ear and said: ‘Eh, fuckin’ ’ell, keep it dangerous, you cunt.’”

He does love a C-bomb, innit.

Let’s leave it there for now, although you can head over to the Guardian to read the full interview.

[source:guardian]