You only need to look at the media attention Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s every move attracts, to know why the godparents of Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor wish to remain private.

Yeah, that’s the full name of the little lad, and we can confirm that he has feet.

This Saturday, July 6, Archie will be christened in a small private ceremony by the Archbishop of Canterbury in the Private Chapel at Windsor Castle (below).

For those who are desperate to know who his godparents will be, get a grip. Also, via PEOPLE, we have bad news:

[The parents] have decided to keep baby Archie’s godparents private.

Buckingham Palace revealed the news in an official statement about Meghan and Harry’s two-month-old son’s christening.

“The godparents, in keeping with their wishes, will remain private,” the statement reads.

On the plus side, Royal fans will still get to see some of the sweeter moments from the day, with the couple set to share images that will be taken by photographer Chris Allerton.

According to a royal source (don’t you love those?), the venue was chosen because they “wanted an intimate, peaceful setting in a place with such a special connection to Her Majesty”.

Around 25 people are expected to attend, and you can bet that they’ll be sworn to secrecy.

It is becoming obvious that unlike previous Royal babies, Archie’s life won’t play out in the public eye. Forbes reports that this has become an increasingly important focus for Harry and Meghan:

[Their] preference for privacy, according to British media and royal commentators, is having a ‘cold shower’ effect on a public that, deprived for almost two long months of any photos or information, was expecting Archie’s baptism to offer a peek at his size, as well as the color of his hair and eyes…

Harry and Meghan have been able to keep a tight control over their son’s public profile and appearances from the time Meghan was in labor — news that was made public only after baby Archie was born, and his “presentation” to the public, which occurred two days after his birth.

It has been reported that Prince Harry, who has indicated on various occasions that he will closely guard the privacy of his children, has expressed his desire that his son be treated as a “private citizen.”

Naturally, this doesn’t sit well with many, especially with news breaking earlier this week that they spent around £2,4 million of British taxpayers’ money to remodel and refurbish Frogmore Cottage.

“They cannot have the butter and the punt money,” commented Penny Juror, a royal family biographer in the Times. “Either they keep their privacy, pay for their own home and disappear from our view, or they play the game. Seeing Archie and his godparents arriving at the christening is what people are interested in.”

Yeah, cry the British, I pay my taxes so show me that damn baby.

When I look at the man likely to become the next British Prime Minister, and the mess that is Brexit, I think they have bigger fish to fry.

Still, there is obviously much conjecture about the identity of the godparents, and the Express has some gossip on that front:

Previously fans thought that Princess Eugenie may become the godmother. But there is now just one person seeing spectacular odds – Meghan’s best friend, Jessica Mulroney. According to Coral, odds are now just 1/2 for Mrs Mulroney, making it very likely she could be named Archie’s godmother.

Harry Aitkenhead, from bookmakers Coral, said “She’s heavily odds on to be given the honour, and with royal children often having a few godparents we have also made Harry’s close friend Charles Straubenzee too.”

Fashion stylist Mrs Mulroney’s children had starring roles in the Sussexes bridal party.

That’s quite enough Royal waffle for one day.

Let’s move on with our lives.

[sources:people&forbes&express]