People have been having a ‘big sad’ over season eight of Game of Thrones.
There’s even a petition going around to have the whole season rewritten.
I’m pretty sure it was started by the 500+ idiots who named their kid ‘Khaleesi’ last year.
Anyway, this ‘big sad’, coupled with the fact that it’s the final episode airing this Sunday in the US, means that news about the show is everywhere.
If you haven’t been watching from the beginning, it’s almost impossible to figure out what’s going on, which leaves you with two options.
1: Dedicate your entire weekend to binge-watching seasons one to eight on Showmax.
2: Keep reading for the absolute bare minimum that you need to know to attend your friend’s Game of Thrones finale party, or chime in occasionally on the office chats.
Here’s VICE:
Worry not, out-of-touch Game of Thrones latecomer! There’s still a way to feel included when Sunday night rolls around. First of all, do not even attempt to look at the Game of Thrones Wiki—it will just overwhelm you and fill you with dread. Seriously, don’t.
Instead here’s a bullet point summary:
- Westeros is where everyone lives. There are other places too but everyone who matters/ survived the last couple of episodes is in Kings Landing in Westeros, so that’s all you need to know about geography.
- The Iron Throne is the thing that everyone has been fighting over. It’s both a literal and figurative throne. If you sit in it you rule the seven kingdoms. Lots of people have died trying to sit in it.
- Daenerys started out as a “breaker of chains” (she’ll mention this at least once in the final episode), who freed slaves. Now she’s all mad and angry and killing entire cities of people. Everyone is very upset.
- Jon Snow knows nothing. He is also not a bastard, but Daenerys’ nephew which is why he gets a bit weird every time she tries to sleep with him. She is upset because they boned before they knew they were related and she’s fine with that.
- Tyrion Lannister is probably going to die. He’s pissed off Daenerys too many times, so don’t get attached.
- Sansa and Arya Stark are the only smart characters left. Arya is an assassin who can wear other people’s faces and Sansa is her sister and the ruler of the north at the moment.
If all of this is just too confusing, entertain yourself by looking for cameos and production errors. The week before last there was a coffee cup in one of the shots, and Ed Sheeran has even made an appearance in the past.
And, if all else fails, take solace in the fact that it will all be over next week.
[source:vice]
