My wife Sam from Cafe du Cap used to be a jeans buyer at Woolies, so I have some clue and insight into the fashion industry.

We’ll chat about the lows and lowers of living with a partner who works at Woolies another time. Our support group still meets up regularly.

With 10-year celebrations just a year away, it would be remiss of me not to mention my being crowned GQ’s Best Dressed Man in 2010 – further cementing my authority on all things fashion related.

Do you think it’s easy? It’s a cross to bear, my friend. You try making the decision that we’re dropping V-neck T-shirts and going back to round-neck for 2019.

Yup, that was me…at your service.

So anyway, about three months ago Sam says our good friend, Roy, wants to send over a bag of jeans for me try on. Roy is the sole distributor of PAIGE  for the African continent.

You’ll remember them from their international ad campaigns featuring the likes of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

Just for context, Paige are the main jeans on display in the likes of Selfridges, Harvey Nichols, Harrods and Nordstrom. Rachel Bilson, Jaime King and Ashley Greene love them, and there’s also a running commentary (here, here and here) on the internet about how many pairs Kate Middleton owns – her fave being the Paige Skyline Ankle Peg jeans in Beachwood.

Let’s have a look at those.

But if you want to find them here in South Africa, you need to speak to Roy. It’s clearly quite a big deal. But so am I.

Roy wanted to drop off these jeans and I asked Sam if I would have to pay for the jeans if I kept some. She confirmed that I probably would.

“Well that’s bullshit!”, I said. “Is Roy aware that I’m GQ’s Best Dressed goddamn Man?”

“Yes,” she reluctantly replied, painfully aware of my fragile ego.

That was the last I heard. Until last week, when a Range Rover dropped off two bags of jeans at my house. Goddamnit, Roy!

I stared at those bags for a week. I even took them with us when we grabbed a single available night at Cabine du Cap. I had visions of myself getting gaffed and in the mood to try on jeans. Didn’t happen.

After a week, Sam tells me Roy needs the jeans back. I figured I might as well quickly try on a pair before they go back. I’ve never owned, let alone tried on, R4 000 jeans, and I was interested to see if I can truly feel any difference.

Just hear me out now. I literally refuse to spend anything on clothes. If I’m not wearing vintage Puma or Ralph Lauren or Woolies R200-for-2 T-shirts, I’m naked (which takes up a large portion of my time, I might add). So the notion of spending anything more than the cost of a tank of petrol, simply does not register with me.

I slipped on a pair of dark Paige denim jeans (the Lennox Cellar style – below), as I prepared for a baby shower in Bishopscourt, such is my demographic. Very casual affair, but worthy of some peacocking – I hadn’t seen Klaus and Kathy for years.

I found a nice black round-neck T and perused the Puma shoes cupboard for the final piece of my ensemble. That’s when I experienced what can only describe as a weird sensation. Weird because I had never felt it before.

Let me explain. I am giving it to you straight now.

I’ve heard people (and fashion ads) talking excitedly about clothing that “you don’t even know is on” and I’ve never understood the appeal. What’s wrong with feeling my clothes? The point is you simply don’t know it until you try it. Only when I put on a pair of Paige denim jeans did I understand how truly uncomfortable normal “affordable” jeans are.

I am beginning to grasp why it is so nice to not know you’re wearing something. I’m also starting to understand what Paige jeans mean by their blurb on the jeans tag:

PAIGE redefines the standards of luxury, recovery and comfort with TRANSCEND. Using the latest in performance fiber technology, this fabric features an innovative formula that yields luxuriously soft denim that won’t stretch out. The Lennox is a skinny, which is slim though the hips and slightly tapered through the leg. This pair comes in a sleek dark wash that’s perfect for day-to-night dressing. Finished with a zip fly, single-button closure, and back patch pockets with signature thread stitching.

We wear jeans more than any other garment and to do it in such discomfort is nothing short of tragic. We just don’t know any better. It’s making us sad and life is simply too short.

I invented the phrase ‘reassuringly expensive’ but never applied it to jeans, as it just seemed impossible to justify spending any more than a couple of grand on a pair. I get it now. It does make sense, and I believe it can change your mood and therefore your life.

You don’t need to buy a pair of Paige denim jeans, you need to INVEST in a pair of Paige Denim jeans. Roy even let me pay it off over two months.

Roy’s quite a private guy and doesn’t like surprises, so he didn’t want me to publish the address of his office and shop (it’s in Sea Point). He rolls with an appointment-only vibe and if you want to arrange a viewing to try some on, give the 2oceansvibe office a call on 021 276 1955 and we will give you Roy’s number.

We’ll also arrange a little 2oceansvibe discount for you 😉

Until then, have a good think about how your current jeans are letting you and the side down.

You are so much better than that.