Awful traffic in and around the City Bowl, jets flying low overhead, and a smattering of fat cat politicians eating and drinking at some of Cape Town’s finest bars and restaurants.

That can only mean it’s time for the annual State of the Nation address, which will be delivered later this evening by Cyril Ramaphosa.

Before we go any further, you’re going to need to check out the road closures, because you really don’t want to be caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.

By now, we all know what to expect from a SONA speech. Ramaphosa will speak about political, economic and social matters affecting the country, as well as touching our relations with Africa and abroad.

This year, there should also be a focus on land reform, unemployment, and the mess that is our state-owned enterprises.

Other things to expect include the EFF performing their usual theatrics, the persistent crying out of ‘honourable member’, and a sickening parade on the pre-SONA red carpet.

This is, without doubt, my least favourite part of the entire evening. Politicians elected by the people sashay past the cameras, usually with some over the top display of wealth visible, whilst journalists fawn over their every move.

“And here comes vice-president David Mabuza and his wife, Nonhlanhla. David is wearing an Armani suit, and Nonhlanhla has been kitted out by *insert overpriced designer*.”

Cool, but can we also ask him about that time he syphoned off money from schools and other public services in Mpumalanga to buy loyalty and amass enormous power within the ANC structures?

No, sorry, that’s a little uncouth.

“Oh, and here comes Bathabile Dlamini. That clinking you hear is a combination of the eight gold bangles she wears on her wrists, and the bottles she fleeced from every mini-bar on the same floor as her hotel room.”

Sorry, Bathabile, who are you wearing tonight, and also, how do you feel about being so bad at your job as Social Development minister that the courts found you guilty of perjury?

I tell you who I would really, really like to see on the red carpet this year – the Hawks. If we really want to spice things up and create a spectacle, how about they start arresting our crooked politicians there and then?

At least it’s going to be stinking hot, with temperatures in the mid to high thirties, so there will be some sweating.

Deep breath – I’ve gone off on a bit of a rant, haven’t I?

Cyril Ramaphosa is expected to start his speech at around 7PM, with the evening to conclude around 9PM.

The stream below, from the Parliament of the Republic of South Africa’s YouTube channel, will start from 3PM.

You’ll get to watch the build-up, the red carpet (this is where I get the shot glasses out), and the speech itself.

Happy hangover.