Hello, idiot wanting to join the Mile High Club.

OK, you’re probably here because you’re a bit of a voyeur (if so, check out this story), so we’ll allow it.

First up, if you’re looking for a useless fact to impress people with this weekend, you have Lord Cholmondeley from Cheshire and Lord Derby, from Derbyshire, to thank for the concept of aerial fornication.

The pair took a bet way back in 1785, with a hot air balloon as the chosen vessel, and Cholmondeley has gone down in history as the first member of the Mile High Club.

Fast forward 230-odd years, and the urge to get jiggy with it whilst in the air has not subsided. VICE decided to ask members of the club to recount their stories, so here are a few below:

Laurel, 34

I was on holiday with my boyfriend in Italy. We’d had this huge fight like two days before because he thought I was cheating on him (I wasn’t). We’re flying from Rome to Florence—it’s a pretty short flight—and he just wasn’t talking to me. So I waited until the flight attendants had walked down the aisle with drinks, and then I unbuckled his seat belt and pulled him into the bathroom with me.

Honestly, I don’t know what came over me. I’m not usually a spontaneous wild person, but I think I was feeling helpless and as though I had nothing to lose. Surprisingly, the sex was great. Quick, but great. We came out of the bathroom and the people in the rows closest to us were giggling like school kids. I felt so triumphant: I thought we’d gotten away with it. Then, as we went past the flight attendants on the way out, one said “be more subtle next time.” I was so embarrassed! Safe to say, my boyfriend and I didn’t fight for the rest of the trip.

Liam, 23

This guy I’d been seeing for two weeks surprised me by booking this spontaneous trip to New Zealand. We spent an amazing, romantic week there, and then flew home in Emirates First Class, which was also a surprise. Apparently he just wanted to “see what first class was like”. We found that the bathrooms are LUSH. They have showers! And they’re massive.

So, naturally, we fucked in the shower. Usually you book them for 30 minutes and you get 15 minutes of hot water, but we were the only ones in first class, so they kept the hot water running and didn’t give us a time limit. It was pretty great—kind of exhilarating. I smashed a glass while we were having sex, so I was pretty sheepish when we exited the bathroom. The flight attendant was waiting outside the door with a dustpan and broom, but she just nodded and smiled at us. First class is amazing.

Some people have all the luck.

David, 29

Okay, so here’s what you do: you wait until the air hostess is busy with the drinks trolley, and then you pretend to feel sick in the stomach. You rush to the bathroom, and a few minutes later your ‘friend’ comes in to give you some water. Then you have roughly 10 minutes to reach your desired destination.

You have to pick a position and stick with it. As a guy, I suggest sitting on the toilet, with her sitting on top of you, facing away. Then you’ve just got to focus and get it done. I’ve done it twice now. Both were successful. You come out of the bathroom looking disheveled and a bit sweaty, which is completely understandable… as you are not feeling well.

That’s just about enough smut for one day.

If you want more tales of aerial acts of intercourse, you can head over here.

[source:vice]