After all of the years of Julius Malema’s antics, which have resulted in his party’s ascendency to third biggest in South Africa, the wheels may finally be coming off.

John Steenhuisen might have stuck the knife in during his speech in Parliament earlier this week, which was good fun to watch, but it’s the EFF’s showdown with Pravin Gordhan that has really shown their true colours.

Gordhan has already laid criminal charges against the party, which has now led to the EFF filing charges against Gordhan in what can most kindly be described as a hatchet job.

That really is being kind, because the charges, which include corruption and money laundering, are so demonstrably false that News24 picked them apart in a matter of hours.

They’ve done well, but it’s the sloppiness and complete fabrications that made that work possible. Before we get to the brutal takedown bit, here’s a quick summary of News24’s fact-checking mission:

Malema’s claim:

Racketeering and/or money laundering – Gordhan opened and operated, with corrupt intent, “an unlawful foreign bank account held in Canada. Royal Bank of Canada [RBC], Shebrook in Montreal, Account number 585425-91 and account holder R Jamandas Gordhan and account balance is $48 756 292.” Further, Gordhan’s denials over his alleged “financial dealings” in Canada amount to perjury.

Firstly, the “account number” provided by the EFF to police does not match the account numbers used by the Royal Bank of Canada (RBC)…

The number provided in the charge sheet consists of a six-digit and a two-digit number, separated by a hyphen…The “account” number listed in the EFF’s draft charge sheet has no way of matching to a RBC account number.

So the EFF couldn’t even create a fake account number that was the right length and format, and then there’s the fact that “non-Canadian citizens can only apply for a bank account at any bank if they are in the process of immigrating or hold a student or work visa”.

Gordhan doesn’t tick those boxes, but my favourite is that bit about ‘R Jamandas Gordhan’:

The EFF spelt Gordhan’s name wrong twice in the charge sheet distributed to the media. Despite being central to their entire case, the EFF referred to Gordhan as “R Jamandas Gordhan”, getting both his first name initial and second name wrong.

Gordhan’s full names are “Pravin Jamnadas Gordhan”. An ID verification using third-party software confirmed this.

Guys, get the bloody name right. Someone might want to tell their supporters, too:

Geography isn’t the EFF’s strongpoint, either:

The Royal Bank of Canada branch mentioned is also not located in “Shebrook in Montreal”, but rather in Sherbrooke, which is a city in the southern part of the Quebec province.

Montreal, another city in the same province, is some 156km away from Sherbrooke, details which are easily verifiable utilising a simple Google Maps search and branch locator function on RBC’s website.

Amateur hour in the EFF fact-checking department, then – or maybe they redirected staff from there to the ‘absolute bollocks lawsuits’ department.

You can read the rest of News24’s blow-by-blow dissection of the EFF charges here, but let’s move onto Richard Poplak of the Daily Maverick, who loves a stinging takedown.

Do your thing:

In South Africa, depending on whom you ask, Private Enterprises Minister Pravin Gordhan is either a tireless warrior against the scourge of corruption, or the head of an Indian cabal pumping hundreds of millions of rand into faraway bank accounts, while inhibiting the development of Floyd Shivambu’s family holdings and ruining Tom Moyane’ Christmas in Mauritius.

The facts are less ambiguous — the courts have routinely, and with great exasperation, slapped down the accusations against the minister (rogue units at the revenue service, cushy retirement plans for his buddies, etc, etc), and it’s become clear that his enemies form the rump of Zuma-era rent-seekers within the ANC and its exiled adjuncts.

Life must be unpleasant for Gordhan, but it’s straight-up embarrassing for his enemies, who are starting to froth at the mouth and resemble slavering mental patients every time they leave the confines of their air-conditioned Mercedes luxury vans

Poplak also has no time for the idea that Gordhan just popped open a Canadian account and stashed around R675 million away for a rainy day:

At this point, it’s probably necessary to have a quick word about the banking sector in Canada, which just so happens to be one of the most highly regulated in the world…After Canada’s economy tanked back in the early to mid-’90s, a deal was struck between the government and with what would become the country’s Big Four financial institutions: we regulate the Bejesus out of you, and you retain an unbreakable shared monopoly…

The take-home here is that Canada’s Big Four banks don’t play around, mostly because they have no need to.

They also don’t take very kindly to the EFF assuming they would be willing to allow for money-laundering to happen under their watch:

…this is a very sloppy libel. But it may come at a significant cost.

RBC and Canada’s Office of the Superintendent of Financial Institutions, the equivalent of SA’s SARB/Prudential Regulatory Authority, have already been petitioned to investigate this matter. They will obviously not divulge details regarding personal accounts, but if they find that Gordhan has “ordered various taxpayers” to deposit “large amounts of money” into an RBC account in “exchange for favours” — he will be unbanked from his not-bank account, and his fake money will be frozen.

But if the EFF are lying — which of course they are — they’re screwed. The bank will almost certainly sue for damage to reputation, and they can inflict real pain because the allegations concern transactions that have been conducted in US dollars.

Pretty sure I’m not alone in hoping that the RBC sues the EFF for every penny in their coffers.

To finish, Poplak goes for the jugular:

So, two things. Unforgivably, the EFF assumes its supporters are idiots with no critical thinking skills. Worse, they’re counting on financial illiteracy and lack of access to reasoned fact-checking in order to exploit the very reasonable outrage that attends these late days of the ANC’s South African republic.

Second, they’re so desperate that any lie — no matter how undercooked — will do. Either way, they have abnegated any claims to being a reasonable opposition party. They’re just another group of goons in pyjamas, looking to extract rents from the state…

It’s a shame, but it seems like you can’t bank on anyone these days.

In South African politics, you really can’t.

I’d advise you read Poplak’s full column here.

Right, let’s get on with the business of making it through Thursday.

[sources:news24&dailymaverick]