If you wanna walk around in Crocs and dad jeans then be my guest, but if you want to remain fashionable, then there’s always the Telegraph’s ‘How to Dress Well’ series.

Also, I was only joking about the Crocs – please be better than that.

That man above is Don Draper from Mad Men, played by Jon Hamm, in case you were wondering, who is much revered as a fashion icon.

Anyway, this advice comes via Phill Tarling, a celebrity stylist who has worked with the likes of Tom Hardy, and has a proven track record of turning lost causes around.

That means there is hope for you still, guy peeping over the precipice at middle age.

The five tips are as follows:

1. Get grooming

“Staying on top of your hair can keep the years off your face. Most barbers and hairdressers offer a tidy up for a fraction of the cost of a full haircut, sometimes called a fringe trim.”

I’ll assume this means nose hairs, too, and perhaps those weird, longer hairs that seem to appear on people’s ears with age.

2. Keep your colours tonal…

“Guys with a larger body shape who want to look sharp and considered should stick to slimming, darker earth shades. Match your tie to your jacket, and if you wear a white shirt, stick to the blue or grey families for the colours that surround it.”

…and your patterns subtle

“Avoid big chalk stripes, windowpane check or any other strong detail that’s just going to look like a deck chair. Find a fine check that’s tonal, perhaps in a birdseye weave — a really small, detailed texture will look great.”

3. Know your body shape

“Don’t wear your belly hanging over your trousers because you’ll look like your torso takes up two thirds of your overall height. Bring balance to your silhouette by wearing your trousers on your waist rather than your hips.”

That means no more hiking your pants up to beneath your armpits, although that’s more of a 70-plus kinda vibe.

4. Stick to structure

“Don’t buy big and baggy. Any tailoring you buy should be structured, as it will give you shape. A little structure in the shoulder of a blazer will keep your silhouette neat and clean.”

5. Accessorise with nous

“Ditch the comedy Simpsons pants and novelty socks…

“If you’re wearing a waistcoat, try adding a pocket watch. The chain should go from second or third button from the bottom, dangle down and then scoop back up and into in the left or right pocket just above your hipbone.”

“When pairing a tie with your suit, choose between wide lapels, wide shirt collars and wide tie or smaller lapels, smaller collars, and smaller ties.”

Can’t say I’ve seen many Simpsons pants around, but we know Cape Town loves a good novelty sock. This wedding season, prepare yourself for countless groomsmen photos of funky sock designs.

I’m OK with that, but I ain’t no celebrity stylist.

Basically, be like Jude Law – make tons of money, (perhaps) have hair implants, buy a boat, and pop a pocket square in for good measure:

If that isn’t possible, just ditch the Crocs.

It’s a good start.

[source:telegraph]