If you have used the internet, then you have encountered an internet troll.
If this is your first time, first off, welcome to the internet. Secondly, where have you been, and how have you survived this long off the grid?
Finally, run screaming. The internet is where human decency goes to die.
The death of human decency has a lot to do with the fact that the web doesn’t discriminate, which means that anyone with an opinion has the option to broadcast it in chatrooms, the comments section, and social media statuses.
Some people do this like it’s their job. Those people are commonly referred to as trolls.
As noted by Mashable, however, not all trolls are created equal. So to help you figure out which one you’re dealing with, or if you have accidentally become a troll yourself, here are the 10 types that you’ll encounter on the net,
1. The “Why is this news?” troll
This troll likes to point out that the thing that you’re talking about isn’t worth talking about. The things that don’t qualify as “news” can range from actual news to personal anecdotes. This troll believes that they are the final word on what should and shouldn’t be spoken about, and will go out of their way to keep you “informed”.
2. The do-no-harm troll
The do-no-harm troll is based on a character created for comedic reasons. The character is usually so wildly uninformed that hilarity ensues.
The do-no-harm troll’s comments are confusing, but not harmful; weird, but not dangerous. They’re based on a persona: that of a person who is wildly ignorant, but not necessarily in a toxic way. As trolls go, they are pretty good.
Think Ken M on Reddit or The Colbert Report back in the day.
3. The high-brow troll
Everybody knows a high-brow troll – that person so intent on showing how smart they are that they inspire eye-rolls every time they open their mouth.
High-brow trolls are those people who live to reference New York Times articles to make their points, often calling it “the Times” to let you know they’re so dedicated to reading the paper that they’re on a nickname basis with it.
They don’t always feel the need for elaborate clapbacks, especially when there’s spelling or grammar in need of correcting. To high-brow trolls, a simple “*their” is the most savage takedown imaginable.
They multitask in their trolling, taking people down and humblebragging at the same time.
The high-brow troll is also probably a fan of Ayn Rand and Richard Dawkins.
4. The wet blanket troll
Having a great chat? Sounds like a job for the wet blanket troll. These trolls will bring their negative energy to a convo no matter how light the subject matter.
Recently, we were reading a nice thread on what to eat for breakfast and noticed one man popping up under any comment that mentioned eggs. “Eggs are high in cholesterol,” he wrote many, many times. “Excellent, if your goal is to die of heart disease.”
Eggs are fine. Eat your eggs.
5. The meme-reliant troll
These trolls have a lot of opinions, which they share solely through memes.
You’ll rarely catch this troll tweeting directly about politics, but they’ll never pass up the opportunity to transform the latest Trump drama into a lawn boy meme. As Midterm Elections approach they won’t outright urge people to vote, but they’ll eagerly jump at the chance to retweet that Ariana Grande/Pete Davidson meme. And they take no shame in putting their extensive knowledge of Spongebob Squarepants episodes to use.
Meme-reliant trolls enjoy trolling but don’t want to cause too much trouble, so they deliver their social commentary in a hilarious package.
6. The friendship troll
Friendship trolls are people who you know and probably like, but who also use social media for subtly evil ends.
Friendship trolls takes it upon themselves to give their pals FOMO whenever possible. If they hang out one-on-one with a mutual friend, for example, they’ll be sure to send photos letting you know that they’re having a great time despite your absence. If they go to eat at your favorite restaurant or see a band you like they might send you some “thinking of you” content. Rather than giving you FOMO, they could have just invited you to hang with them, but of course, they did not.
Friendship trolls also aren’t afraid to commit to one of the ultimate social media betrayals – snitch tagging. Someone posted something about someone without tagging them, so the friendship troll does the tagging for them, leading to drama.
7. The broken record troll
Another especially irritating presence, the broken record troll has almost zero range in trolling. They come up with one good troll, think they’ve mastered the game, and keep it in their back pocket just waiting to whip it out whenever the opportunity presents itself.
Broken record trolls also exist in bot form and behind Twitter accounts with very low follower counts. Anyone who joins social media for the sole purpose of scouring the site for posts related to a single issue (like politics, for example) and replying with the same canned insult falls under this category.
8. The existential void troll
This troll is in a state of permanent ennui. They will engage in endlessly bleak conversations and seem permanently angry at the world.
An existential void troll’s tweets document the desperate searching for purpose and meaning in this life. Much like the wet blanket, this troll’s a real downer, and will make you want to scream things like, “WHO HURT YOU?” and “WHY?”
If the troll stares into the void, does the void stare back?
9. The brand troll
Brand trolls are literally brands that troll other brands in an attempt to set themselves apart.
Brand trolls can be entertaining, but when they cross the line from pranking to online harassment the consequences can be dire.
Which brings us to the most common and recognisable type of troll:
10. The toxic troll
These trolls are mean, bigoted asshats who seem to spend most of their time making the internet a terrible place for everyone. They’ll post mean comments on things that have nothing to do with them for the sole purpose of getting a rise out of someone.
Moral of the story? Don’t be a troll. It’s not a good look.
[source:mashable]
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