We all have those friends who disappear into a relationship, only to emerge a few months later as a two-headed creature, that no longer functions without their other half.

This is either a good thing or a bad thing. While codependency is certainly unhealthy, becoming a ‘we’ unit with your partner is actually a positive step in the right direction.

Don’t take my word for it, though. Here’s The Guardian with some of the key elements of a successful relationship, according to science. Who are we to argue with science?

A study by researchers at the University of California, Riverside found that “we-talk”, as they term it, is associated with happier and healthier relationships. To quote the undecipherable academese seemingly beloved by social scientists trying to justify the fact they have spent months studying we-ing, they found “meta-analytic evidence that we-talk predicts relationship and personal functioning in romantic couples”.

The study also found that hearing your partner use “we” frequently is more strongly linked to happiness than using we-talk yourself.

‘We-talk’ is also a good way to solve conflict because it’s inclusive rather than divisive, and centres on the relationship rather than purely individual needs. This study isn’t the only one to give peer-reviewed academic relationship advice. Here’s more:

Perhaps the most important modern love tip is to keep your relationship off social media. Evidence suggests constantly posting updates about how blissfully happy you and bae are is a sign your relationship is falling apart.

A 2014 study found that “when people felt more insecure about their partner’s feelings, they tended to make their relationships visible” on Facebook. In an age of oversharing, #Couplegoals is keeping your private life private.

There you have it. Scientific proof that your irritating friends who spam your news feed with status updates and pics about how happy they are are probably faking it.

How those couples are resolving their conflicts can also be indicative of whether or not they’ll move past the social media insecure phase into the ‘we’ phase.

A study from the 1970s found that the ratio between positive and negative interactions during a conflict is a reliable indicator of whether a relationship will last. Happy couples, researchers found, have five or more positive interactions for every one negative interaction.

Finally, there’s always the 36 questions you can ask your significant other to rekindle your love or get it going.

They get pretty dark towards the end, and there’s nothing like contemplating your mortality to get the romance going.

Whatever your vibe, the best relationship advice is “don’t be a dick”. Once you’ve got that sorted, it’s smooth sailing.

[source:guardian]