It should be beneath all of us to care about the details of Trump’s tiny pecker, but when you behave as POTUS does, you drag everyone down to your level.

Stormy Daniels’ new book isn’t going to sow as much upheaval in the White House as that of Bob Woodward’s (Fear: Trump in the White House is packed with dirt), but it will put a massive dent in Trump’s superego.

That’s because in amongst all the stories of Stormy’s life and career is a detailed account of Donald’s junk.

At this point, I should warn that if you are eating breakfast, proceed with caution. Here’s the Daily Beast:

…the book gives excruciating detail of her alleged affair with Trump, including one nightmarish image in which she compares the president’s penis to Toad—the incredibly annoying mushroom character from Mario.

“He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes in a book fittingly titled Full Disclosure. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool… I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart… It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”

We’re guessing here, but that sounds like around half a cork.

Not that we didn’t already know this, but that’s zero Big Dick Energy for the Don.

That bit about the “least impressive sex” is really going to hurt, especially when you consider that he once lied about Marla Maples saying he was the best sex she had ever had.

Don’t forget that Donald Trump Jr. once spoke about his father’s penis in an interview with Adam Carolla. Bustle below:

“When you and your pops are in the shower, who’s got the bigger package? You know what I’m saying,” the former Loveline host asked Trump Jr., who was at that point 30 years old.

“You know, and I will get fired for this, but I’m never going to say that I don’t,” Trump Jr. replied. “I will get fired for that. By the way, they’re both pretty substantial, I think.”

When Don Jr. stops trying to get back at CNN and Anderson Cooper for tearing him a new one, I expect some kind of lame rebuke from his side.

Before you go, Mashable has some memes on the matter. I mean, why not?

Mario Kart – just another thing Trump has ruined forever.

[sources:dailybeast&mashable&bustle]