I find Tuesdays are often the worst day of the week. Everybody expects Monday to be shite, but sometimes you’re still on a high from the weekend’s festivities and the day comes and goes.

Tuesday the reality sets in, and Friday seems like an eternity away, so let’s lend a helping hand and let the professional stand-up comics crack a few jokes to lighten your load.

This year’s Edinburgh Fringe Festival (or Festival Fringe to some) is far from over, but the Guardian already has a ’10 best jokes’ list for us to enjoy.

Let’s dance:

Athena Kugblenu: Patriarchy is putting Jane Austen on £10 notes the same time as bringing in contactless.

Christian Talbot: Sometimes even I don’t understand feminism. And I’m a guy.

Jez Watts: I don’t know why, but for some reason all the cheeses in the dairy aisle have been named after porn search categories: Vintage, Natural, Hard, Semi-hard, Mature, Blue Vein, Goat.

Felicity Ward: I have a lot in common with post-first world war Germany. We both went through a great depression in our 20s. Then in our 30s a nice man came along. Great facial hair. I’m hoping for the best.

Angela Barnes: When I see Donald Trump I get the same thought in my head as I get after a particularly painful bikini wax. Bush wasn’t that bad.

Ken Cheng: In school I had the nickname “the human calculator”, which meant bullies would come up to me, say the number 5318008, lift me upside down and not let me go until I said the word “boobies”.

Aatif Nawaz: Just learned what perineums are. Let’s just say it’s nothing to do with Nando’s.

Rosie Jones: During birth, my shoulder got stuck coming out. Well, it was the 80s.

Matt Rees: No good at talking to women. I’m 28 and recently my grandmother and I had the “are you gay?” conversation. She isn’t.

Chris Turner: “Never Apologise! Never Explain!” – Sorry, that’s my motto.

A decent bunch, although with just shy of two weeks left to go before the festival concludes, we’re hoping more zingers emerge.

You can see our Edinburgh 2015 picks here, 2016 picks here, and last year’s highlights here and here.

If none of that can bring some joy to your life, you’re probably a miserable person.

[source:guardian]