It’s the greatest, most divisive question ever – well, at least since the “chicken or egg first” debate.

That’s right, I’m talking about a grating issue that’s been plaguing the masses for eons upon eons: Should you add milk to your tea before or after you add water?

Yes, folks, we’re wading deep into the complex sciences of popular beverage-making.

Now, being a pothead (no, not that kind of pothead, I’m talking about the tea-pot), I’m adamant that milk should always – repeat, ALWAYS – go in last, so as to let the sugar dissolve in the boiling water first.

That should be finish and klaar, but there will always be that one old auntie, or that uppity tea snob, who’ll say, “I’m sorry, but I add my milk first”.

NO. You do not pull that shizz with me, honey.

To justify my argument and put the near-violent dispute to rest, an official poll by YouGov – a British data analytics and market research firm – was released to find out the answers from tea-loving Britons and beyond, and to determine the proper procedure.

Yes, you know this tea drama is serious business when a firm like YouGov gets involved.

Here are the results of the poll – which I took part in, by the way:

And a huge thank you to this poll for the validation.

The Telegraph (yes, even this reputable media outlet is getting involved in the dispute) breaks the poll down further to rub in pro-milk-first fans:

The poll confirms the nation’s definitive position on the issue, with almost 80% insisting that the correct protocol is water over the teabag first, followed by a dash of milk.

Habits differ by age, with the older people are the more likely they will add milk first. Only 4% of 18-24-year-olds add milk first, rising to 15% among 25-49-year-olds, 24% among 50-64-year- olds, and finally 32% among 65-plus-year-olds …

In the days when only the most expensive china would not shatter when boiling water was poured into it, the less well-off cooled their vessels by pouring their milk in first.

Today, such concerns are of little importance and the poll of almost 1 600 people suggests that both the middle class ABC1 demographic and the working class C2DE demographic are similarly split.

There you have it, my fellow potheads. Milk goes in last, and nearly 80% of the voters agree with me.

So please, call me out for pouring my milk in last in my grubby little mug, ’cause it won’t change the fact that I’m right.

Oh, that and you were dead-ass wrong. *Sips tea*

[source:telegraph]