I could crack a joke about you knowing how to make a bastard suffer, but we’re here to talk serious business.

The business of making and drinking a proper drink, in fact, which is an art form that few South Africans who aren’t bartenders seem to have down.

It’s 2018, and we should all know how to rustle up a classy drink or three. No, brandy and coke doesn’t count, and neither does a mimosa.

We thought we would steer clear of the obvious choices, and throw a few ‘off the beaten track’ options your way.

Specifically, those that involve ginger ale, which seems to be an increasingly popular mixer these days. Maybe that’s because there is finally someone making proper, bespoke mixers, with a range that includes ginger ale, and maybe that’s also because Coke-sugar hangovers are the devil’s work.

St Charles Exchange has picked 11 top notch ginger ale-based drinks, but we’re going to start with the one that caught our eye.

That drink up top might look tame, but it actually packs a serious punch. Enter the ‘Suffering Bastard‘ and what you’ll need:

• 2 ounces rum
• 2 ounces gin
• 2 ounces ginger ale
• 1 ounce lime juice
• 2 dashes bitters
• Sprig of mint, for garnish

Throw in a flower to add to the garnish, because you’re a bastard who is comfortable with your sexuality, and follow these instructions:

To make this first, scoop some ice cubes into a highball glass. Next, add the bitters, ginger ale, rum, lime juice, and gin. You can garnish this drink with a sprig and mint.

The drink was initially created in the late 1940s as a hangover cure, which seems fair, but has now morphed into hangover inducer territory.

One suggestion – make sure the ginger ale you’re using is decent, like the Fitch & Leedes option, and you may fare better the next day.

If the ‘Suffering Bastard’ doesn’t tickle your taste buds, you could always try the ‘Dying Bastard‘:

• 2 ounces brandy
• 2 ounces rum
• 2 ounces gin
• 2 ounces ginger ale
• 1 ounce lime juice
• 2 dashes bitters
• Cherry, mint and orange for garnish

An ounce is just under 30 millilitres, by the way, so that drink above contains almost 180 millilitres of the hard stuff.

In an ice cube-filled highball glass, pour the bitters, brandy, ginger ale, rum, fresh lime juice, and gin.

Then be sure to tell everyone that your drink is packing heat, which more than justifies the cherry, mint and orange garnish.

To round out the trifecta, and because we’re on a roll here, let’s finish with the third drink in this series – the ‘Dead Bastard‘.

Now you’re really playing with fire:

• 2 ounces bourbon whiskey
• 2 ounces brandy
• 2 ounces rum
• 2 ounces gin
• 2 ounces ginger ale
• 1 ounce lime juice
• 2 dashes bitters
• 1 mint leaf, for garnish

Eight ounces of liquor. Dead.

I guess it’s something you could serve at a classy bachelor party, rather than making the poor chap do a bum funnel or drink from an old shoe.

Fill your highball glass with ice cubes. Next, add the bourbon whiskey, brandy, rum, gin, bitters, and lime juice, and ginger ale. Stir and garnish with a mint leaf for garnish.

Then hang on for dear life.

It’s only fitting that a range of drinks conceptualised back in the 1940s exudes that old-school class and charm, which is why you should also pay attention to the ingredients that aren’t alcohol.

Delicately carbonated, superbly balanced and infused with the world’s finest flavours, Fitch & Leedes takes you back to an era when things were still made with the utmost care and craftsmanship.

Bespoke mixers in glass:

And in cans:

Whether you’re suffering, dying, or dead, you should be drinking in style.

Let us know how it goes, please.

[source:stcharlesexchange]