At some point, whether we like it or not, the metabolism slows down.

It creeps up on you, like that weird neighbour who says hello for just a little too long in the mornings, and before you know it you have to make certain life changes.

Not that they have to be too drastic, but every time I chow down on a burger or a pizza these days I know it’s going to leave a mark.

What’s worse is the hangovers these days, which only seems to get worse with age. You know sugar isn’t helping you out, right?

Sugar and alcohol both have a lot in common.

They both cause dehydration and they are both processed through the liver. These commonalities mean that, when combined, sugary, alcoholic drinks produce a much more severe hangover than alcohol alone.

First they came for my food, and I said nothing. Then they came for my drinks, and that was too much to bear. The point is that we don’t want to compromise on the things we love, and you’ll have to pry my gin and tonics from my gnarled hands.

I’ve dabbled in sugar-free mixers to try and lessen the guilt and the hangover, but many of the options out there are thoroughly underwhelming. I can usually tell the moment someone subs out my mixer for a sugar-free substitute, and one thing I’ve never been accused of having is a nuanced palate.

There’s a market for this, surely, so why are we being forced to put up with mediocrity?

Someone needed to step up to the plate and deliver a quality product, and we should have known it would be Fitch & Leedes who finally delivered the goods.

Their range of bespoke mixers is already head and shoulders above the rest, but a few new tweaks need looking into.

You haven’t lived until you’ve dabbled with their pink tonic, but if regular tonic is your jam then step forward, third from the left:

Give us a little twirl, while you’re at it. Indan Tonic Lite – nice to meet you.

Prayers answered – zero compromising on taste, and you can kiss the sugar-guzzling guilt goodbye.

Of course you could also drink your gin neat, and I’ve been known to fire back a shot or two when the mood strikes, but that’s not usually how you want to watch the sun go down.

You’re still smarting over the fact that you have your eye set on the Pink Tonic, aren’t you?

Here’s the thing – people asked for it, and they listened:

What a time to be alive.

You’ll see that it’s the kind of tipple a discerning individual might enjoy, so if you joined in on that snoop around Seth’s home bar you’ll know he ticks that box.

Fitch & Leedes know the difference between good and exceptional, and you should, too.

After all, if you’re spending money on buying proper gin, you can’t go throwing any old muck in as your mixer.

You want to see how simple it is to rock a proper G & T? Mid-week mixer, because Wednesday is basically the beginning of the weekend if you’re living right:

The thirst is real.

Quick shout-out to our Durban readers, who might want to swing past the Fitch & Leedes Gin & Tonic Festival Durban this Saturday, June 2, at Chris Saunders Park in Umhlanga.

To whet your whistle, here’s what went down last year:

You can find out more about this Saturday’s Fitch & Leedes Gin & Tonic Festival Durban here.

If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to enjoy a midday tipple.