Fed up of relying on others to do the job for you? Well, it might be time to invest in pleasuring yourself.

Sure, the thought of buying a sex toy may be a little overwhelming at first, but that’s why we’re here. Or rather, why Désir is here.

An online adult shop, Désir lists some of the most luxurious and sophisticated adult toys from across the globe. But while they offer so many options that clicking through to their website may be a little daunting, the good news is that they have put in the effort to make it all the more comfortable for those who are beginning their collection.

Once you acquire the most basic of available options, you can slowly learn what it is you do and don’t enjoy, and consequently build a collection around the sexual experiences you want to have.

Sounds lekker, ne?

Whether it’s a dildo or vibrator, or a box set, cock ring, remote control app or a set of kegal balls, Désir have been so kind as to list the beginner options in each category to help you choose more effectively:

It’s important that you understand your needs. You can start out as risqué or as polite as you like – it’s completely up to you. Many toys are sorted by solo or couple’s use here, and price range is a good indication of build quality, durability and technological advancement.

So what do you do? Well, if you’re heading into this with a partner then make an effort to talk about it, touching on what each of you would be totally into or completely uncomfortable with. If it’s all about you, take a moment to tap into your personal desires.

After that, along with the mental list, you can choose one, or more, of the following:

Slap & Tickle Beginners BDSM Kit with Soft Tip Bullet Vibrator from Rocks Off:

This kit contains a pair of soft wrist restraints, a satin blindfold, a sexy feather tickler, a small riding crop, and a RO-100mm soft tip bullet vibrator. This kit sets you up for a night of sensational delights. Restrain your lover with the wrist cuffs and use the blindfold to keep them in the dark as to your next move.

Alternate between light tickles with the feathers and sharp taps with the PU leather riding crop. When arousal is at its peak, the RO-100mm soft-tip bullet vibrator is your ultimate teasing weapon, building and then denying orgasm at your will until your lover is begging for your mercy and the sweet release of intense orgasm.

Ovation Couples ‘Date Night’ Kit with Vibrating Penis Ring from Screaming O:

The Screaming O Ovation Kit provides the ultimate kit for a night with your partner.

Containing 2 of each item, this kit includes 2 screaming o vibrating cock rings, 2 water-based lubricant sachets, 2 warming lubricant sachets, two cleansing towelettes, and two sweet mints.

The disposable vibrating cock ring, allows for 30 plus minutes of play and has a vibrating head perfect for direct clitoral stimulation for her and delayed ejaculation for him! Perfect for couple play!

Get your couple kink on here!

Quickshot Vantage™ Male Masturbator from Fleshlight

The versatile Quickshot™ male stroker range from Fleshlight is great both for solo play and couple’s fun, and is compact and easy to use. With caps on either end, the 11cm casing opens on both sides to form a stroker that works for guys of any size. Even better, your partner can get to work on pleasuring you with hands or mouth while using the Quickshot™ to stimulate the shaft. The Quickshot Vantage™ stroker has a winding texture to the interior that is perfect for twisting up and down your shaft to build to intense orgasm. The clear sleeve and casing allow you to watch the action, and even act to enhance appearance inside the 2cm diameter canal, adding to your visual stimulation. Use a good water-based lubricant for maximum pleasure.

Get your first, and very own, fleshlight here.

Ashley 12 Speed Rabbit Vibrator from SToys

It’s good quality at a good price, with a surprisingly powerful motor and soft silicone finish. The Ashley rabbit vibrator has a flexible curved shaft with an insertable length of 8cm, designed to gently massage the g-spot while the nubbly exterior arm stimulates the clitoris.

With twelve vibration settings controlled by a simple, soft-touch button on the ABS plastic handle, the Ashley is a brilliant beginner’s erotic rabbit toy. If you’ve been looking for dual stimulation that will lead to strong blended (g-spot and clitoral) orgasms, then the Ashley is an essential for your toybag.

Get kinky with your own rabbit vibrator here.

Anni Jewelled Anal Plug from Diogol

The Diogol Anni Round T2 Buttplug is a beautiful & stylish crystal Swarovski anal plug designed for both men & women. The initial tapered design helps for insertion, while the thin neck keeps the butt plug in place so that it can’t slip out of your body. Whilst the fullness adds intensity into the orgasmic experience, we suggest using your favourite lube to help improve this sensory overload. Use it during lovemaking to provide fullness and added orgasmic release or wear it during the day for heightened sensations.

Got it? If not, then, like I said, Désir is here to help.

Not only do they list a wide selection of toys for beginners here, but if you head over to their Camps Bay showroom, their client concierges will address any questions that you may have about their collection.

Next thing you know, you’ll be calling yourself an expert and giving all your friends the nudge they need. Just like this one.