What’s the difference between Donald Trump and a flying pig?

The letter ‘F’.

You’re welcome.

Relax, that’s not the boss-level trolling we are here to talk about, because that took place over on Craigslist. You know, the place with all of those mirrors for sale.

Donnie is currently struggling to find lawyers to defend him in the Russia investigation, despite what he says on Twitter, and he appears rather desperate.

They don’t have Gumtree over yonder, but you can still take the piss on Craigslist, a classified advertisements website.

You can find the ad listing here, if you want to do your own snooping:

I know your eyes aren’t what they used to be, so I’ll do you a solid and put the full text below:

Seeking a lead attorney to represent client involved in an ongoing Federal investigation. Must be familiar with laws and procedures around discovery, executive privilege, international financing of licensed real estate, election law and the Logan Act. Working knowledge of social media, especially Twitter is a plus, as is a better than average knowledge of the adult film industry and a collection of Playboy magazines from 1985-2010. Must look the part – Gregory Peck or Tommy Lee Jones type. Prior appearances on Fox News a huge plus.

No fatties.

Must be prepared to work with a client who is very forceful and opinionated about his defense and is his own best counsel.

Basically your job boils down to keeping him from testifying under oath and hoping the rest comes out in the wash.

Ask about our other openings on our staff and submit your resume to be considered for potential openings in the near future. Perhaps the very near future. Like, hit refresh on your browser now. Now again.

You’ll also want to constantly refresh Twitter, because the evidence that will be used against your client increases with every angry, early morning tweet.

Mashable reached out to the person who posted the trolling, who said that they had actually “received one resume from someone who apparently took the listing as genuine”:

…the person also confirmed it was all done for the lulz: “I just thought it would be funny to see an ad for Trump’s attorney the same place you’d go looking for a used futon or (until recently) a stranger for BDSM role-playing.”

BDSM with Trump is easy, because all you need is a rolled up magazine. Not just any magazine – get a load of this from the Daily Beast:

Nobody was ever spanked with a more appropriate object than the one Stormy Daniels recalls employing on Donald Trump.

“He’s like, ‘have you seen my new magazine?’ Daniels recounted to Anderson Cooper on 60 Minutes of her encounter with Trump in 2006.

Some have suggested that the magazine was Forbes. But the timeline doesn’t add up. The spanking took place in July 2006 and the Forbes magazine with Trump on the cover came out in September 2006, with a dateline of October 2006.

The only new magazine that Trump would have called his own at that time was the premiere issue of TRUMP magazine.

He was, of course, on the cover.

“He was showing you his own picture on the cover of a magazine,” Cooper remarked to Daniels. “Right, right,” Daniels said.

“And so I was like, “Does this– does this normally work for you?’ And he looked very taken– taken back, like, he didn’t really understand what I was saying. Like, I was, ‘Does, just, you know, talking about yourself normally work?’ And I was like, ‘Someone should take that magazine and spank you with it.’”

…‘Give me that,’ and I just remember him going, ‘You wouldn’t.’ ‘Hand it over.’ And– so he did, and I was like, ‘turn around, drop ’em.’ So he turned around and pulled his pants down a little– you know had underwear on and stuff and I just gave him a couple swats.”

Let that image above haunt your dreams.

[sources:mashable&dailybeast]