David Warner versus Quinton de Kock, also known as the Battle at Kinsgmead.

By now you’re probably well aware of what went down, the two engaging in a war of words that has the cricket world divided.

What people tend to agree on is that both parties overstepped the mark. Warner shouldn’t have called Quinny a “bushpig” and become personal about his mother and sister, and our lad shouldn’t have asked what Sonny Bill Williams tastes like.

Or, if that new WhatsApp screenshot / voice message doing the rounds is to be believed, told Warner that the only ‘de Kock’ he should be worried about is the one that Sonny Bill … well, you get the drill.

The latest video to emerge shows Warner swearing at de Kock as the two leave the field for tea, which is when the bust-up occurred:

Sook is an Australian slang term used to indicate another person is soft or easily upset, or who complains a lot.

The Proteas players allege that the majority of Warner’s abuse took place on the field during the second session, when de Kock and Aidan Markram led a spirited fightback.

Anyway, here’s what really irks me. Before the first test kicked off, the Ozzies requested the stump mics be turned down between balls. You know, during that period in which they verbally abuse every batsman in the name of ‘mental disintegration’.

South African broadcasters traditionally keep stump mics turned up for large parts of a day’s play, not simply when the ball is live, so the Ozzies decided to take matters into their own hands.

Here’s Cricinfo:

At the start of the Proteas’ first innings, members of the Australian team were heard loudly talking up the virtues of competing sponsors Qantas and XXXX, with one player even asking the umpires “how good is Qantas?” as Mitchell Starc got ready to deliver the first ball. The two Australian sponsors are in competition with Emirates (sponsor of the ICC and its umpires) and the South African brewer Castle, which is an official supplier to Cricket South Africa.

The ploy, devised to have the stump mic faders turned down, was heard by commentators though not broadcast.

When they didn’t get their way, they decided to try and force SuperSport’s hand. Real classy, guys.

The tactic was raised in a press conference, and Mitchell Marsh had this response:

[He] said the tactic was more of a joke than a protest, before repeating it in the press conference. “I wouldn’t say it was a protest, I’d say it was a great opportunity to give our sponsors a bit of a plug. Qantas, thank you for getting us here safely,” he said.

“The stump mics really for us players on the field are irrelevant, it’s about us as a team getting the ball in the right areas and we don’t really worry about that, it was a bit of a joke to give the sponsors a bit of a plug.”

Yeah, I’m sure that during a heated test match between arch-rivals they’re concerned with plugging their sponsors.

I dunno, both sides need to pull up their socks but all of this paints the Ozzie team in a very unflattering light.

Late last night Warner accepted a 75% match fee deduction (Australian $13 500 or R125 000) and a sanction of three demerit points without contesting the level two charges, and now sits one point away from an automatic suspension.

A level two offence can warrant up to four demerit points being issued, which equates to an automatic suspension of one Test or two ODIs/T20I, whichever comes first.

De Kock, however, has contested the level one charge against him and will attend a hearing in Port Elizabeth on Wednesday evening.