Oh, to be 25, living in Cape Town’s City Bowl, with a Cartel House membership, a Bettr bank account, Uber and Tinder. That’s surely optimum at this exact point in time? You’ll have a skateboard or a bicycle at best. Uber will take you around and, if you need to go away for weekends (with the babe you met on Tinder), you hire a car.

You’re a freelancer of sorts, plying your trade where and when it suits you. You also make a bit of bob on the side as an ‘influencer’. But wait… there’s more.

I ran into a group of youngsters that fit this demographic the other morning, at around 9AM. I was at Bali Beach in Bakoven with my dog and my kid – giving mum some down time.

Just to clarify – whilst nearby, this is not the beach where that madman attacked me with an umbrella a few years ago (read about that here) – this is on the other side of the same bay.

I’m used to having the beach to myself at that hour, so was quick to size up the group of four peeps to the right of the beach. Three guys and a girl – all in their early 20s. They were smoking and wearing jeans and T-shirts. It was getting hotter by the minute. A wave of nostalgia hit as I recalled memories of the all-nighters I had in my younger years. The three-guys-and-a-girl mix was commonplace, as the guys tried their best to outlast each other and have some alone time with the lady.

Those nights / mornings would usually end abruptly as the birds started tweeting – with no more booze or cigarettes to fuel the buzz.

Today’s millennial doesn’t have that problem, as you’re about to find out.

I gave the lambs a knowing nod and went about my beach activities. Throwing the ball for the dog, following the child, saving the child from drowning, throwing the ball again, etc. etc.

My human child started strolling across to the group of youngsters and, although I beckoned her back, she doesn’t really listen – ever, to anything – and that day was no different. I followed her to the group, who were now swimming in their evening wear. Incredible scenes. Vintage ‘remember that time’ memories were being created right before my eyes. My spawn greeted them, “Hanno!” she exclaimed. The kids were really sweet – especially the girl – and they gave a big hello back.

I gave it the big, “Ahoy… so where were you guys last night?” – letting them know that I could read the vibe well, and that I’d probably been an incredible party animal back in my day. They weren’t buying it and definitely imagined me to be slightly out of touch.

“Long Street,” came the predictable response. Yes, of course – Long Street.

They were now lying on the beach with their tops off – still in their jeans – soaking wet. The girl had her bra on, which I thought was a nice touch. I shuddered as I imagined the sensation of those jeans drying on one’s body, impregnated with sea salt. ‘Crusty’ doesn’t even begin to describe it.

I retrieved my child and returned to the safety of our towels.

Once enough time had passed for the younger generation’s clothes (impregnated with salt) to dry, they began their great trek to wherever it was they were going. Surely to bed? There was a mumbling of “let’s use your Uber, we used mine to get here”. Classic millennial problems. But hey – at least they didn’t drive in their state.

They came alongside my spot and the one chap asked me, “Hey, where is the liquor store?”

Shame, these kids don’t know when to stop.

“Camps Bay’s a dry town, my man,” I explained.

“WHAT?!” came the shock from all four of them.

I could understand their shock. Today’s millennial expects everything to be available at all times, at the click of a button. Why should this be any different?

And that’s when it occurred to me – these kids were slightly behind the curve. I had something on them and I was about to change the direction of their day. After all, running out of booze and smokes was the only reason our all-nighters used to end. We never had the Bottles app.

“You guys know about Bottles, right?”

They looked at each other somewhat confused. “No,” they conceded.

Hah! I win!

“Get in your Uber, download the Bottles app and order booze to be delivered within the hour to wherever you’re heading,” I explained. I waited a few seconds and added that Bottles will also deliver smokes, snacks, ice and Rizla.

I’ll be honest, they were in awe. Literally speechless that this guy, seemingly in his mid-thirties (let’s face it) should have the solution to their dilemma – in a (the only) format they understand.

And that was the last I saw of them. I watched as they hobbled up the stairs to the road, arguing over who had more data or battery power to do the Bottles app download.

I went back to playing dad and chuckled to myself. Things really have changed. While I thought Bottles was just a game-changer at home for braais and stocking up the domestic bars, the significance when it comes to the next generation is beyond imagination.

May all-nighters never end.

To take advantage, download the Bottles app for IOS or Android.