In any other setting, with any other president, allegations of sleeping with a porn star just after your wife gave birth to your son would be a death knell for your career.

Not our Donald, though, because you haven’t disowned him by now then you’re in for the long haul.

Details of his affair with Stormy Daniels back in 2006 first came to light a few weeks back, when it emerged that he had paid R1,6 million to silence her.

There’s just one problem with the gag order –  back in 2011, before that deal was reached, she gave an interview to In Touch Weekly about the whole thing.

The publication claims that “Ms. Daniels took and passed a polygraph test”, and that “the account of her affair was corroborated by one of her good friends and supported by her ex-husband, both of whom also passed polygraph tests”.

In its entirety the interview is 5 000 words, but I’m going to pluck out some of my favourite bits.

He kept showing me he was on the cover of a magazine that had just come out and it was some sort of money magazine, I wish I could remember which one it was. But he had it in the room and he kept showing it to me and I was like, “Dude, I know who you are.” He was trying to sell me, I guess. The first time I met him, the first couple of hours, he was very full of himself, like he was trying to impress me or something. But I do remember he just kept talking about this magazine that he was on the cover of, like, “Look at this magazine, don’t I look great on the cover?”

Even when he is trying to sleep with a porn star, he can’t help himself.

I was like, “Yeah, what about your wife?” He goes, “Oh, don’t worry about her.” Quickly, quickly changed the subject.

…the sex was nothing crazy. He wasn’t like, chain me to the bed or anything. It was one position. I can definitely describe his junk perfectly, if I ever have to. He definitely seemed smitten after that. He was like, “I wanna see you again, when can I see you again?”

It was textbook generic. It wasn’t like, “Oh my God, I love you.” He wasn’t like Fabio or anything. He wasn’t trying to have, like, porn sex…

Nothing freaky. Like, “Oh yeah, that feels good. That’s amazing.” You know. It was one position, what you would expect someone his age to do.

Yeah, don’t worry about Melania darling. This is my personal favourite – incoming Shark Week shocker:

Then the next time I saw him was the end of July and he called me and asked if I could come meet him at the Beverly Hills Hotel. And I went…We had dinner once again in his room. I had swordfish that time. Once again, no alcohol.

The strangest thing about that night — this was the best thing ever. You could see the television from the little dining room table and he was watching Shark Week and he was watching a special about the U.S.S. something and it sank and it was like the worst shark attack in history. He is obsessed with sharks. Terrified of sharks. He was like, “I donate to all these charities and I would never donate to any charity that helps sharks. I hope all the sharks die.” He was like riveted. He was like obsessed. It’s so strange, I know.

Donald wants sharks to go extinct – pass it on. Makes me think of this incredible Forbes cover:

There’s a lot of pain behind those eyes.

We break briefly to highlight a juicy detail not contained in the interview, but covered on Mother Jones:

According to a May 8, 2009, email written by an operative advising Daniels, who asked not to be identified, Daniels at one point scrolled through her cellphone contacts to provide her consultants with a list of names…

This email was sent to Andrea Dubé, a Democratic political consultant based in New Orleans. In response, Dubé expressed surprise that Daniels was friendly with Trump. “Donald Trump?” she wrote. “In her cell phone?”

“Yep,” the other consultant replied. “She says one time he made her sit with him for three hours watching ‘shark week.’ Another time he had her spank him with a Forbes magazine.”

Dubé and the other consultant confirmed to Mother Jones they exchanged these emails.

The campaign consultant who wrote the email to Dubé tells Mother Jones that Daniels said the spanking came during a series of sexual and romantic encounters with Trump and that it involved a copy of Forbes with Trump on the cover.

A fall 2006 cover of Forbes does feature Trump and two of his children, Donald Jr. and Ivanka.

Who hasn’t wanted to be spanked with a magazine bearing the image of his family before?

We know Donald doesn’t read, so maybe that’s how he thinks you absorb info in print form?

Finally, a little on his misplaced morality, again from Daniels’ interview with In Touch Weekly:

Like I said, if I was his wife and I found out that my husband stuck his d— in a hundred girls, I would be less mad about that than the fact that he went to dinner and had like this ongoing relationship…

He bragged about his daughter quite a bit though. He was very proud of her, which is nice. He told me once that I was someone to be reckoned with, beautiful and smart just like his daughter. She is smart and beautiful, so I guess that’s a compliment.

And you wonder why women in America feel the need to march.

This story will hardly make a dent in Trump’s support base, though, and will probably just be filed under the ‘locker room talk / behaviour’ category.

Three more years.

[sources:intouchweekly&motherjones]