Sheesh, finally someone is tackling the important stuff.

Our taps are set to run dry in April and Trump thinks we live in a shithole, but it’s time you pay some attention to which battery is going to keep your remote going the longest.

You joke, but having to actually get up to change the channel is a crime against humanity.

So Duracell and Energizer are two of our country’s most recognisable battery brands, and MyBroadband decided to put them through the paces to see who comes out tops.

In order to compare Duracell Plus Power, Energizer Max, and Duracell Ultra alkaline AA batteries, they used a West Mountain Radio CBA IV – designed to test small cells and batteries.

Eight of each battery was used in the test, and here’s what they found. It will all make sense at the end, don’t worry:

How the hell does one battery last just over seven minutes, and then another of the same exact make last over 19? Little too much variation there for my liking.

But what does it all mean, you ask?

Here’s how that looks when worked out nice and simply:

No clear winner, but Duracell Ultra Power ain’t living up to its name.

This is where I would wade in and ask hey, anyone heard of a thing called rechargeable batteries?

Is anyone still here? Crickets.

Cool, I think that ends the great battery debate for 2018. Stay tuned for next week, where we discuss the rate at which various paints dry.

[source:mybroadband]