Donald Trumps is, like, a genius.

A stable genius.

Don’t take my word for it – take his:

On his first try, people!

There was more word vomit in the tweets that came before that one, but we digress.

So ‘Fire and Fury’, the new book by journalist Michael Wolff, is all the rage right now. It clearly has Donald and the White House rattled, and there’s no doubt that the president’s aides have summarised the book so the Orange Menace can get up to speed.

He won’t have liked what he read, because Wolff isn’t playing very nice.

Via Huff Post SA, here are the wildest moments from between the two covers:

Trump’s daughter Ivanka told her friends about the secrets of her father’s hair.

She treated her father with some lightness, even irony, and in at least one television interview she made fun of his comb-over. She often described the mechanics behind it to friends: an absolutely clean pate—a contained island after scalp reduction surgery—surrounded by a furry circle of hair around the sides and front, from which all ends are drawn up to meet in the center [sic] and then swept back and secured by a stiffening spray. The color, she would point out to comical effect, was from a product called Just for Men—the longer it was left on, the darker it got. Impatience resulted in Trump’s orange-blond hair color.

He can’t even finish a hair dye sesh.

Trump has a conspiratorial reason for his frequent consumption of McDonald’s food. 

He had a longtime fear of being poisoned, one reason why he liked to eat at McDonald’s — nobody knew he was coming and the food was safely premade.

Please can a Maccy D’s employee take one for the team?

“Everybody was a leaker”: former White House chief of staff Reince Priebus, Bannon, Kushner — even Trump.

The constant leaking was often blamed on lower minions and permanent executive branch staff, culminating in late February with an all-hands meeting of staffers called by Sean Spicer—cell phones surrendered at the door—during which the press secretary issued threats of random phone checks and admonitions about the use of encrypted texting apps. Everybody was a potential leaker; everybody was accusing everybody else of being a leaker.

Everybody was a leaker…

At least some of the information about the inner workings of the White House came directly from Trump, Wolff writes.

Trump had no interest in repealing Obamacare — or health care in general. A man of many phobias, however, he once lied so as not to be pegged obese.

Trump had little or no interest in the central Republican goal of repealing Obamacare. An overweight seventy-year-old man with various physical phobias (for instance, he lied about his height to keep from having a body mass index that would label him as obese), he personally found health care and medical treatments of all kinds a distasteful subject. The details of the contested legislation were, to him, particularly boring; his attention would begin wandering from the first words of a policy discussion.

Basically all of us during the first staff meeting of 2018.

Trump is a “post-literate” TV junkie.

Trump didn’t read. He didn’t really even skim. If it was print, it might as well not exist. Some believed that for all practical purposes he was no more than semiliterate. (There was some argument about this, because he could read headlines and articles about himself, or at least headlines on articles about himself, and the gossip squibs on the New York Post’s Page Six.) Some thought him dyslexic; certainly his comprehension was limited. Others concluded that he didn’t read because he just didn’t have to, and that in fact this was one of his key attributes as a populist. He was postliterate—total television.

You wanna know how much he loves telly? Jonathan Swan at Axios got a look at the president’s private schedule, which differs in key ways from the official ones given to the media and the public.

Donnie has designated periods euphemistically called “Executive Time,” which he mostly spends watching cable news, making phone calls, and trawling Twitter. Here’s one entry:

[sources:huffpostsa&axios]