Look at Zach Galifianakis’ smug face, just rubbing our noses in the fact that down here in the Mother City we can’t take a bath.

Oh, that’s unless you pose as a tourist and try your luck with some local hotels.

Tom Eaton decided to ring around to some popular Cape Town spots and ask one question that a discerning tourist may fire off before arriving on our shores – are guests allowed to take a bath?

Sorry, but here’s Times LIVE with the bad news:

“I’m coming down from Joburg in mid-December,” I told the receptionists of the first 10 hotels that came up on Google, “but I’ve heard you guys have water restrictions down there so I want to find out if you have rooms with a bath, and if guests are allowed to have baths.”

If you are, in fact, coming to Cape Town this summer and you want to have a bath, I have great news: you can fill up the tub whenever you want and loll like a manatee at the Table Bay Hotel, the Cape Grace, the Breakwater Lodge, Protea Victoria Junction and the Radisson Park Inn. Good times!

If you go to Protea Sun Square, the Southern Sun Cullinan, the Protea Marriott in Mowbray, or the Vineyard Hotel, you will find that the plug has been removed from your bath. But don’t worry: you can request a plug at reception and all will be well. (The Cullinan was the only one to tell me that it was “trying to make guests aware of the problem we have”.)

So here we are, showering every second day and letting our piss sit there and mellow, and hotels don’t have to play by the same rules.

The Vineyard Hotel did reach out to us via email with a response to Tom Eaton’s piece. It’s already appeared online over at The South African HERE.

The fact remains that corporate responsibility is where a major part of the battle against the water crisis we find ourselves in can be won.

I went to a concert at GrandWest the other day (we won’t say who for fear of revealing my age), and afterwards every toilet in the bathroom flushed virtually non-stop for half an hour.

Maybe you don’t want to leave your pee for the next person, but it’s time such niceties were addressed. Maybe venues like this should have a sign on each stall door – “we are in the middle of a ma se p*es water crisis, don’t be afraid to let your piss sit for an extra minute”.

The point is that it’s time for everyone, big business included, to start making some drastic and immediate changes.

Here’s how Tom ends his rant:

It was a tiny sample size and it was, I admit, entrapment. But the fact remains: every single hotel I phoned effectively told me that if I paid them enough money I could flush hundreds of litres of water down their drains. And the fact that nobody I spoke to tried to lie or obscure this wild hypocrisy – austerity for residents, wastage for tourists – means that they are confidently operating within the city’s rules. This is part of the city’s plan.

And that means there is no plan.

Tow in the icebergs, it’s about the only hope we have.

UPDATE: Here’s the response from Jeff Rosenberg, Chairperson: FEDHASA Cape (the Federated Hospitality Association of South Africa):

As the Federated Hospitality Association of South Africa (FEDHASA) Cape region – the private sectors voice and the lobbying body for the hospitality industry in the province, we can assure you that our members are 100 percent committed to saving water and have strict measures in place to ensure visitors; both local and international alike don’t waste water.

This monumental crisis that grips the Western Cape means our member establishments, including the Table Bay, the Cape Grace, the Radisson Park Inn, the Protea Breakwater Lodge, the Protea Fire and Ice, the Protea Victoria Junction and the Vineyard Hotel, that you specifically make mention of in your column, all have water-saving measures in place.

These include visible signage in public areas, including bathrooms and rooms, and many establishments have also completely removed bath plugs from their bathrooms. This means that guests are politely informed thereof during check-in and reminded that the establishment encourages guests to make use of showers instead.

In fact, one of the member establishments you mention – the Protea Fire and Ice – does not in fact have any baths in their bathrooms and only have shower facilities. Another property you mention – the Victoria Junction Hotel – only have four bathrooms with baths out of their 172 rooms.

To further demonstrate the commitment of hotels to conserving water, our hotel member establishments earlier this month signed the FEDHASA Cape Water Wise Pledge and vowed to increase awareness campaigns for guests, particularly during the upcoming holiday season, and to educate staff in order to manage this appropriately.

A copy of the signed pledge is displayed in each property for guests to see.

The FEDHASA Cape Water Wise pledge supports the Western Cape Provincial Government and the City of Cape Town’s Water Saving initiatives. Since this pledge was signed FEDHASA Cape, in partnership with our members have challenged other industry associations and businesses to take urgent action to save water.

We’d like to assure you and your readers that as an industry we are committed to both short- and long-term improvement in our water conservation measures, which forms part of our commitment to responsible tourism practices that protect and enhance the natural, cultural, social and economic environment.

[source:timeslive]