He might be furious about having to make his own tea (please watch THIS video for context), but it’s actually been a pretty decent year thus far for British rocker and swearer extraordinaire Liam Gallagher.

Turns out he and his brother Noel, with whom he has been publicly feuding for years, have both released albums at the same time.

That means it’s time to ramp up the publicity efforts, and time in the public eye means more Liam gems for us to enjoy.

The Telegraph, by the way, are clearly fanboys:

Not only is swaggeringly charismatic Liam’s solo debut “As You Were” currently outselling the rest of the Top 20 albums combined, but he’s beating his big bruv wit-wise too.

…lippy Liam’s on fire right now, combining his Irish storytelling blood with a tasty turn of phrase, industrial-strength swearing and a willingness to be the butt of his own jokes. Whether it’s delivering interview gold or bashing out bon mots on Twitter, he’s an unfiltered mad-for-it mirth machine.

OK, I’m going to need you to relax.

With their help, let’s look at five recent moments that had everyone in stitches:

Macca minibar mix-up

Last week, Liam reminisced about running into Paul McCartney and the food/drink confusion that ensued.

“The last time I met him was at the Albert Hall. He goes, ‘Why are you always in a rush? Sit down, sit down’. So I sit down and he goes, ‘Do you like margaritas?’ I said, ‘Yeah, but I had something before I come out, I don’t eat at this time of night’. He said, ‘They’re f***ing drinks, you stupid prick’. I thought he was offering me a pizza.”

His Reddit Q&A

On Monday night, Liam answered fans’ questions on Reddit under the heading “I’m Liam Gallagher. And you are not”. His replies were a masterclass of deadpan snark. Highlights included…

Q: Are you a breasts, legs or arse man? A: Partial to the odd elbow.

Q: What’s your favourite jacket? A: Potato.

Q: What song do you sing in the shower? A: The Birdie Song.

Q: Who is your favourite wrestler? A: Big Daddy. Old skool.

Q: Who’s your favourite rapper? A: Will Smith.

Q: What would your last meal be? A: An egg.

As long as that egg is poached and not boiled – you want to go out on top.

His air travel advice

Just read this pearler from a recent interview in the The Week…

The devil’s dandruff

“My psoriasis was giving me havoc in them days. I get all these white flakey bits on my head. After our first gig at Glastonbury, I’d been scratching my f***ing hair all day. Some geezer came over and he’s gone, ‘F***ing hell, I can’t believe it, it’s Liam Gallagher. Steve, come here, look, he’s even got cocaine in his hair, man’, and he’s pulling these bits of s**t out of me hair and putting it on his gums. The pair of them are stood there, ramming it up their noses and I was going, ‘It’s f***ing psoriasis’. There’s some strange cats out there.”

Hey, if Keith Richards can snort his father’s ashes then those fans can gum Liam’s dandruff.

His inner monologue while running

Liam goes jogging daily at 6am and was recently asked where his head’s at while running. His reply was gloriously mundane.

”Alright, next time that c*** f***ing says that, he’s getting a f***ing slap… I must get that jacket put in the dry cleaners… Not ordering food from that place any more, f***ing s***e, bit pricey, innit?… I need to put them laces in them shoes when I get in… Just random s***. I have a coffee on the way back and I’m f***ing buzzing. And then I just spout it all at Debbie [Gwyther, his girlfriend] and she’s like, ‘F*** off, go for another run.’”

He takes mid-run rest periods too, too: “I was running on the Heath recently and thought, ‘That looks like a nice tree, I’m going to climb that f***ing tree.’ Climbed it and sat there with my hood up for about 10 minutes.” As you do.

Proper rockstars are few and far between these days, so let’s just hope Liam keeps on keeping on.

And no, this doesn’t mean it’s OK for you to strum Wonderwall badly at the next weekend away up the West Coast.

Just don’t.

Thanks, Dave

[source:telegraph]