Well hello, person who regards themselves as smart. We applaud your confidence, but now it’s time to put your wits to the test.

Some people like fart jokes, some people like your mama jokes, and some people require a little more sophistication to bring out the LOLs.

(Some people also like Two and a Half Men and Big Bang Theory, and to those people I say please leave now – you are not wanted here.)

Right, enough foreplay, let’s bust out those smart people jokes. Via Business Insider, you even get the joke explained for you, in case you have overestimated your intellect.

The joke in bold, the explanation under that.

Two women walk into a bar and talk about the Bechdel test.

The Bechdel test is a measure of gender equality in the media. A piece of media is considered to pass the test if it includes at least two women who talk to each other about something besides men. This joke passes the test.

C, Eb, and G walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, no minors.”

C, Eb, and G are the musical notes that constitute a C-minor chord.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A fish.

Surrealism is a movement all about creating weird, illogical art. As this joke makes no sense, it is itself a surrealist work.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Knock knock. Who’s there? Knock knock. Who’s there? Knock knock. Who’s there? Philip Glass.

Philip Glass is an American composer whose music is often described as minimalist and repetitive.

Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?

In philosophy, solipsism is the idea that the only thing you can be sure exists is your own mind.

When it comes down to it, what can we really know about existence outside ourselves? Also, we’re probably living in a computer simulation.

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. “You mean martini?” the bartender asks. The Roman replies, “Slow down there! I’ll let you know when I want more.”

In Latin, which the Romans spoke, the suffix “us” is singular, while the suffix “i” is plural. So the Roman thinks that martini implies he’s ordering more than one! Silly Roman.

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do at night? He stays up wondering if there really is a dog.

This poor afflicted soul’s dyslexia has caused him to confuse “God” with “dog.” His agnosticism forces him to wrestle with “dog’s” existence. And his insomnia has him losing sleep over it.

A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says, “No, I’m traveling light.”

“Traveling light” is a turn of phrase used to indicate traveling without much (or any) luggage. In science, a photon is a particle of light (almost always moving).

Now go forth and spread your pretentious humour.

Or crack a fart and tell a mom joke, it’s your life.

[source:businessinsider]