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We all joke about the Cape Town property market being out of control, because sometimes laughing is about all one can do.

Go to a braai of 30-somethings trying to enter the market for the first time and you’ll see what I mean – it’s a blerrie bloodbath, man.

A tiny two-bedroom flat in Vredehoek that I lived in just sold for R3 million, and THIS is the kind of thing that R1,5 million gets you in Sea Point.

They say you can’t put a price on living in the most beautiful city in the world, but if you could it would contain many zeros, require a massive bond and the rights to your first-born child.

You know where you can still apparently get value for money? The Big Smoke, or Jozi to you and I, and Melville in particular.

I happened across THIS listing below earlier this week – get a load of what R2,65 million can still get you.

4 Bedroom House for Sale in Melville – R2,65 million

Seldom does a home of this class become available. A classic renovation that reflects the grace of a by-gone era, with all the conveniences of a modern lifestyle. Classic bay windows & stained glass, “broekie” lace & balconies, wooden windows, doors & floors & pressed steel ceilings all in immaculate condition.

Spacious north facing lounge with Morso fireplace, interleading dining room featuring custom made wall to wall book shelves & cupboards and stained glass doors leading to beautifully renovated spacious kitchen with top of the range fittings & gas stove.

French doors lead to covered back “stoep” overlooking sunsplashed child safe pool & neat, low maintenance garden with irrigation. Exceptional sized main bedroom with stylish en suite bathroom & walk in dressing room. 2 additional bedrooms (1 en suite), 2nd bathroom with quality finishes, study/4th bedroom, guest loo.

Sunny outside studio/work from home/ playroom with bathroom + 1 bed cottage, double automated garage. Fully walled, excellent security.

All of that and we haven’t touched R3 million?

Look at this bedroom – you could bust out some yoga in there, or store a surfboard in the corner, and still have space:

A bath which you can actually use because your city has water. Such luxury:

A room for the children, because you can afford to buy a house AND raise little ones:

Gather your friends and family here while you plan your December visit to Cape Town:

What is this, some kind of sick joke?

Side note – one of the contact agents is called Muffy.

So let’s get this right, then – Joburg peeps make more money than us laidback beach bums, and their property is far more affordable?

It’s almost enough to make you want to move there.

Almost, but not quite.

[source:prop24]