71 years old, and still behaving like the world’s biggest man baby.

The Don is keeping his cards close to his chest with regards what his celebrations will entail, but judging by his past bashes no expense will be spared.

The Telegraph have taken a waltz down memory lane with a rather entertaining look at some of his more festive jols:

…his 42nd birthday party featured “a 15-foot spaceship zooming from the stage to hover amid smoke and flashing lasers above the birthday boy and his wife Ivana”…

An even more extravagant party followed in 1996 [his 50th], when he was presented with a “chocolate cake decorated with icing images of all of Trump’s buildings and a sugar figure of Don, dressed like Superman with a money sign on its chest”…

Then, in 2005, to mark his 59th birthday, the president was given a “trashy flash of cleavage” – as a contemporary report in the New York Sun puts it – from Baywatch star Pamela Anderson before blowing out candles on a three-tier cake.

Cheeky.

While we’re getting all nostalgic, shall we look at some of the Donald’s most ridiculous statements?

I’m game – the Independent have listed 71 shockers, many of which come via Twitter of course, but we’ll be more brief:

• “Amazing how the haters & losers keep tweeting the name “F**kface Von Clownstick” like they are so original & like no one else is doing it…”
• Believe me, [Jessica Leeds] would not be my first choice.” (On a woman who accused him of groping her)
• “No more massive injections. Tiny children are not horses – one vaccine at a time, over time.”
• “I’m speaking with myself, number one, because I have a very good brain and I’ve said a lot of things.” (When asked who his foreign policy advisers are in 2016)
• “Well, somebody’s doing the raping, Don [Lemon]. I mean somebody’s doing it. Who’s doing the raping? Who’s doing the raping?” (When challenged over saying Mexico are sending their rapists to America)
• [Obama] is the founder of Isis. He’s the founder of Isis, OK? He’s the founder. He founded Isis and I would say the co-founder would be crooked Hillary Clinton.”
• “If and when the Vatican is attacked by Isis, which as everyone knows is Isis’s ultimate trophy, I can promise you that the Pope would have only wished and prayed that Donald Trump would have been President because this would not have happened.”
• “It’s freezing and snowing in New York – we need global warming!”

I left out so many goodies, but you came here to sign that darn birthday card, right?

Over on the Republican Party’s website there’s this beaut, where you can reach out and do your bit. Click the image below and send Donny a message – please don’t call him F**kface Von Clownstick, though, we would hate that.

Don’t do it. Please.

Happy birthday Donald, you terrible excuse for a president.

[sources:telegraph&independent&gop]