By please enjoy we really mean take note of patriarchy at its finest, but you get the drift.

70-year-old Sir Benjamin Slade is on the hunt for a young wife, someone who is “fit enough” to help him look after his two homes.

That would include a castle, so you know he is packing heat.

The ‘eccentric’ old tosser was in a relationship with 50-year-old Bridget Convey. but they split recently as he said she was too old to have children.

For more on what he is after here’s the Telegraph:

“I am interviewing hard. I have had a few proposals, but sometimes the women are past their sell-by date and have been over the guns a few times,” he [said].

“They have to be fit – I have two castles. I am like a feudal prince when it comes to throwing parties.

“I am also on the Genghis Khan diet, which is recommended for young lotharios and involves eating sweet potato, sunflower seeds and horny goat weed.

“It was recommended by my French nephew, who is 70 and hasn’t a single grey hair. And Genghis had 2,000 children.”

Don’t feel ill enough just yet? How about this:

Running a 2,000-acre estate, he has explained, is no picnic: “The annual heating bill is £24,000; insurance is £15,000. I’ve always wished my name was Smith and that I lived in a council house.”

Last year he found himself in the press after offering a £1,000 ‘dead or alive’ reward to anyone who helped him kill a beaver.

Shame, it’s tough living in a castle. Those poor folk have it so damn easy.

To apply for the unenviable task of conjugating with this chap email nodignityleft@saggymanbits.com.

[source:telegraph]