‘Sex sells’ is one of the oldest adages in the book, although one look at this year’s Sexpo up in Johannesburg and you might think again.

Attendance is way, way down – just a third of last year, if you ask Pricasso as he paints portraits with his penis – and it appears organisers might be getting a little desperate for some action.

It all went down at the Sandton Convention Centre, and City Press sent one of their journos over to take a look. Here’s what Grethe Kemp saw playing out:

Billed as “South Africa’s premier health, sexuality and lifestyle expo”, Sexpo has been going for 11 years. From what I can see it pulls a mostly white audience, and seems to cater for cis-heterosexual couples. The Convention Centre is filled with exhibitors that sell toys, while two floors down visitors can pay an extra R50 to R200 to see striptease, watch live sex shows (more on that later) and listen to workshops with topics like “Anal Sex 101” and “The Mystery of the G-Spot”…

“We’re hoping it’s going to pick up over the weekend,” the owner tells me. I wonder if any of the exhibitors have made any money, but decide against asking. Rumour has it the exhibition might run at a loss this year.

That’s not good for business, but neither is a flaccid penis:

We go two floors down from the exhibition hall, where Sexpo’s live shows take place. The cordoned-off booths include a Teazers and a Tease-Hers, as well as a “red light district” where you can watch live sex.

Apparently yesterday the male performer strained without success to get an erection, and after a while tried to insert his semi-flaccid penis into his co-star. It was awkward as hell, everyone tells me. Later I run into a Huffington Post journalist who went and ask her how it was it was. She just shakes her head, eyes big.

Here’s a little video they shot while they were there – I suppose it’s a bit racy so there’s your warning:

Doesn’t look like much of a vibe, hey?

[source:citypress]