Remember that bit where Donald Trump was apologising for some of the ‘hurtful comments’ (his words) he has made thus far on the campaign trail?

Well if you thought that meant he was softening you’d be wrong, because his first TV ad is so Trump it’s tough to know where to begin.

Refugees flooding into America, immigrants stealing jobs and welfare, shock and outrage and lofty promises – yes indeed, it’s Trump at his finest.

No mention of the wall, although VICE says Donald’s solution is something else this time around:

What does Donald Trump plan to do about all these bad things? Helicopters.

As a result of these helicopters, Americans of all races are once again secure enough to stand on their front porches looking at an American flag.

And heterosexual couples are once again kissing. And here is a battleship.

This may sound like I’m cutting out the nuance of the “solution” part of the ad in order to be funny, but here is the entire text of the voiceover that’s read over these images:

“Donald Trump’s America is secure. Terrorists and dangerous criminals kept out. The border secure. Our families, safe. Change that makes America safe again.”

This is where we are in the 2016 campaign: immigrants, bad. Trump, good. Secure, safe, men with guns. Verbs, no.

I guess I should have said spoiler alert somewhere along the line, but bear the above in mind when watching the Donald spread his message:

‘Merica!

As a point of comparison, here’s one of the many videos Hillary tweeted out yesterday.

No, she didn’t take the moral high ground. Yes, she does raise some valid points.

In times of crisis, America depends on steady leadership, clear thinking, and calm judgment. https://t.co/Tpo3Sp7Ri1

— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) August 22, 2016

HELICOPTERS!

Imagine Trump’s stubby little pork sausage fingers having the power that comes with being U.S. president?

[source:vice]