Yes, it’s no surprise that trends come and go, but there’s nothing like an article in the Journal of Wall Street to finally put an end to one.

The real death knell- a report on it by Vice to lay it in its grave.

Senior editor Harry Cheadle had a few cheeky things to say on the matter:

Way back in the mists of the distant past, probably sometime in the late 1990s, a man grew a beard. It looked good—masculine, rugged but not unclean, the beard of a guy who had a bunch of different tools and knew how to use all of them, but also the beard of a guy who read poetry in his spare time and understood it. Other men saw that this was good and decided to grow their own beards, and in this way, a trend was born. Men talked about their beards. They groomed their beards. People went on television to discuss beards—were they good? Yes, they were. Beards were judged in contests.Histories of beards were written and published. Famous people grew beards, and these too were found to be good.

But now, a newspaper distributed throughout the land—a publication so august and prestigious it is known as the Journal of Wall Street—brings us troubling news of beards: Is the beard trend over? Is The Beard Trend Over? IS THE BEARD TREND OVER?!?!?

The paper first notes how popular beards have become, with many actors using them to “telegraph maturity.” Indeed, beards have become ubiquitous: “Flick on the TV and stubbled spokesmen hawk Old Spice deodorant and Sony PlayStations; in the sports world, pros like Houston Rockets player James Harden are as famous for their burly beards as for their ball-handling skills.”

Here is the paper’s indisputable proof: According to a 24-year-old—the hippest age—who works in sales—the hippest field—at Ralph Lauren—the hippest brand—beards are bad: “You go to a bar, and all you see are bearded dudes. I don’t like it,” he told theJournal.

But big beards just aren’t as sexy as they once were. Why? Andrew knows best:

Whereas once a beard signaled rebellion, a devil-may-care attitude that told the world, I decided not to shave for a while, now they just telegraph a sheep-like conformity or an unmanly fear of exposing one’s face to the elements. What are the bearded trying to hide? many now wonder. Their faces?

Instead, according to the barbers interviewed, the trend is to reduce the volume – probably to go with all the undercut, fades and comb-overs that men walk out of the barber with. Gag.

[source: vice]