I don’t know if it’s just me who’s quickly tiring of the April Fools’ fanfare but hey, I guess it’s only one day a year.

If you’re checking South Africa’s news sites today you’ll see a few headlines that surprise, although it doesn’t take a genius to work out what’s cracking.

We’ll start with TimesLive and their headline ‘Zuma Studies BCom, wants to outdo Malema’:

Zuma has enrolled at the little-known College of Uttar Pradesh‚ a correspondence university in India‚ and is expected to graduate by the end of this year.

The course takes three years at regular universities in South Africa…

College of Uttar Pradesh rector‚ Professor Rapil Koje-Gupta‚ insisted the president was receiving no preferential treatment. “We can confirm that Mr Zuma has registered with us‚” the academic said in an email. “As president of South Africa‚ he effectively earns several credits in first- and second-year subjects including economics‚ accounting‚ corporate governance and pubic (sic) administration.

“That means he is entitled to go straight into final year. His two majors are Micro-Economics and Ethical Leadership.”

I’ll give them that one, it’s not the worst attempt we’ll see today.

Next up is IOL with a Trump-based zinger titled ‘Trump buys SA Inc for R3 billion’:

US Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has bought out all of South Africa for R3 billion, sources close to the deal say.

The move comes as Trump’s hopes of winning the next election in the United States, set for later this year, fade.

The multi-billionaire, whose net worth is pegged at $4 billion – or around R59 trillion – is said to have met with President Jacob Zuma earlier this month in a bid to secure SA Inc…

Trump’s purchase includes all of SA’s 51 million citizens, 173 square kilometres of land, R1 trillion annual budget and several state-owned entities, including Eskom, the embattled South African Airways, Transnet and an almost 40 percent stake in Telkom.

A source close to Trump says he intends turning the entire economy around by shipping out all the illegal aliens and making all South Africans work for minimum wage.

“The only way to make this wonderful country profitable is to tax the citizens to death and use them as slave labour.”

I’m all for fun at Trump’s expense but give us a little credit IOL, if the country was for sale at R3 billion the Guptas would have snapped it up a long time ago.

Lastly something we touched on in the Morning Spice, EWN striking fear into the hearts of rugby fans across the country:

South African Rugby Union (Saru) is set to confirm that it’s to reappoint Heyneke Meyer as head coach of the Springboks.

Saru yesterday confirmed that while the candidate for the post was likely to be ratified at its General Council today, previously thought to be Allister Coetzee, that formal announcement is now likely only due to take place on 12 April.

Meyer is set to make a dramatic return as the Springbok head coach, which sees the favourite Coetzee miss out, like he did in 2012…

Continuity in the coaching structure is said to have brought about the sudden change of heart, that was confirmed by a high-ranking official in the sport’s administration, with the bulk of the team that Meyer built set to continue to the World Cup in 2019.

If you took the bait on that last one then shame on you, you deserve ridicule from all angles.

Perhaps the best and most understated effort comes from the Daily Maverick:

I suppose we should brace ourselves for more then – what a time to be alive.

[sources:ewn&timeslive&iol&dailymaverick]

[imagesource:timeslive]