Three words that are enough to strike fear into the heart of any prospective suitor – the friend zone.

One such person is Washington Post writer Danielle Sepulveres, who detailed in great length just why being that go-to confidante for the man she fancied was such a painful experience.

She’s ridden out for a full five years mind you, so perhaps at some point she might want to take a leap of faith. To each their own I guess, so let’s pick apart what she had to say:

Rather than telling him that I feel most like myself in his presence or make a play for his heart, I play the best friend. The confidante. I nod when he tells me where she works. I suggest great dinner spots and sweet gestures she might find charming. I help him decipher her “inexplicable behavior.” And the entire time, I’m hoping this will be another casual relationship for him that will soon fade and leave room for me to make an opening.

In the five years I’ve known this guy, every few months there’s been a different woman. Each time, with each new lady, I would feel the familiar wave of terror that this might be The One for him, coupled with the relief that the last one wasn’t…

Six months into our tête-ā-tête, I had a few cocktails and blurted out: “I think I’m at my best when I’m with you.” He smiled, said “you know, I think it’s great that we’re friends” and changed the subject. I sat there hurt, wondering what to do next.

I chose to remain friends, telling myself it was the mature reaction, even though it pained me to do so…

As years passed, I knew I was waiting around in vain. Even if he did change his mind about me some day, by now it would feel like too much of a consolation prize to be real…

Instead, I found a strange relief in my unrequited love, in the friend zone. There’s a sense of control in knowing the outcome; there are no surprises like those that can come with expressing your feelings…

I wished we could go back to the beginning, when we’d just met. To that spark, that attraction — just older, wiser and closer. Why couldn’t I say: “I’M STILL HERE. WE ARE STILL HERE. DO YOU THINK THAT MEANS SOMETHING?”

Instead, I said nothing. I was afraid of the answer being the same as it was last time. We continued on as we always had — laughter, good conversation, comforting hugs — my feelings running far deeper beneath our bantering surface.

The friend zone wasn’t ideal, but it was better than nothing. Even if I couldn’t be with him, at least I couldn’t lose him.

What a sad, touching story of being so close yet so far. Perhaps he will read this and realise her true feelings, the two finding everlasting happiness in each other’s arms and later penning a rom com documenting the whole process.

Oh a new Tinder match, see y’all later.

[source:washingtonpost]