For the past two days when the clock has struck two we’ve flicked over to the SONA debates, known by some as the ‘Roast of Jacob Zuma’.

Not that it’s been all bad news for JZ, yesterday the moment for ANC members to carry favour with el Presidente as they clamoured to heap praise on the country’s leadership.

Below is a list of some of the zingers thrown around in Parliament courtesy of News24:

“It is not honourable, it is someone who runs a brothel.” – Congress of the People MP Deidre Carter after ANC chief whip Stone Sizani referred to her as ‘madam’.

“On the 9th of December 2015, President Jacob Zuma pressed the red button and dropped what amounted to a nuclear bomb on the economy in South Africa.” – DA MP David Maynier on Zuma’s decision to fire Finance Minister Nhlanhla Nene.

“I would like to congratulate the minister of economic development on his appointment as ambassador to China.” – DA MP David Maynier’s response to Economic Development Minister Ebrahim Patel’s speech.

“All Julius’s are created equally.” – Deputy Minister in the Presidency Buti Manamela on the DA’s Jacques Julius.

“The honourable leader of the red brigade did not want to go in to see [Fikile] Mbalula because he was not prepared to compromise his boyhood and did not know what would happen to him at that point in time. Now where is the bravery in that?” – Manamela on why he does not believe EFF leader Julius Malema is brave.

“Don’t be drawn in by a juvenile delinquent, don’t compete with a juvenile delinquent. Please, we call you copycats, man.” – Energy Minister Tina Joemat-Pettersson referring to Malema.

“They live on a planet of their own making where their leader composes fairytales full of monsters that are a figment of his imagination. He tried to use fairytales as his ‘let’s pretend I will rule one day’.” – Science and Technology Minister Naledi Pandor referring to Maimane.

“Now I understand why they built the buses that are too big for the BRT lanes in Nelson Mandela Bay. This is to ensure that Zuma had something big enough to throw people under.” – DA chief whip John Steenhuisen

“Madam Speaker, Jacob Zuma is not an honourable man. Because, if he was an honourable man, he would do the honourable thing and resign.” – DA leader Mmusi Maimane.

“They are the equivalent of snake-oil salespeople offering a quack remedy that doesn’t work.” – Trade and Industry Minister Rob Davies on promises by other parties that they would fix South Africa’s economy.

Like we said, it really is worth flicking it on if you haven’t yet had your fill of honourable members and madame speakers.

Today will see JZ himself take to the stand, scheduled for around 2PM, and respond to the barrage of attacks. I think we can safely say there will be lots of giggling on his part.

[source:news24]