CONGRATS TO GUY T, WELSTON M AND JAMES B FOR WINNING THE THREE BOXES OF LUUUURRRVE!!

For many years my wife and I (sorry, ladies – but it’s true) have purposefully celebrated Valentine’s Day on a day other than the 14th. We just couldn’t endure sharing a restaurant with other “lovers”. This year we’re not even going out at all – we’ve got something else planned.

UPDATE: WE’RE GIVING AWAY THREE OF THESE SO MAKE SURE YOU READ BELOW

As many of my mates (sorry, boys – but it’s true) will know, we’ve been rolling with Daily Dish at The Residence for over a year now. You know, the crazy-popular startup that arrives at your door every Monday to drop off the exact fresh ingredients and recipes for you to cook four meals every week. I’m all about convenience, and that shit ticks the convenience box very nicely indeed.

Never did I imagine their new startup, The Cheese Club would tick the “please help me escape the Valentine’s restaurant dinner death grip” box – but it seems as though they have.

And this ‘Valentine’s Box‘ thing they’ve got going isn’t just for couples – it’s also great for you single freaks out there. Why not get yourself a bottle of Barista red wine and pop on a little Sadé with some Badedas bubble bath.

Mmmmm – really get into it – quietly seduce yourself….

Check this out:

Whaaaat!???

I’m not even joking.

And I’m not even going to tell you how much it is (see here) – because for what you’re getting it’s basically free.

Seriously – you can’t get cupcake at Woolies for that price.

You can’t even get a cupcake at Woolies with a foreign object inside it for that price.

But listen to this – there’s more:

The Cheese & Chocolate box created especially for Valentine’s Day includes handmade Belgian chocolate from the amazing Von Geusau chocolaterie in Greyton as well a collection of artisanal cheeses & accompaniments from Fairview in Paarl. (10 items in all).

Sorry to interrupt, but did you just say ‘Von Geusau chocolaterie’ and ‘artisanal’ and ‘Fairview’ and ‘Greyton’ in the same sentence?

SHUT.THE.FRONT.DOOR!

Please do not play with our minds. I insist you show us an image depicting this illicit scene that you describe!

Good Lord!

Honestly – I can’t even show you the other pictures – you’ll plutz!

And you see that little box of matches there? That’s not there to illustrate size. Oh no, my sweet angel. You’ll notice the lit match on top of the box. That’s right – you’ve worked it out – you’re going to have candles everywhere once you open the miracle that is the Valentine’s Box.

I’m not kidding you, they have limited numbers of these things, so if you’re smart you’ll stop dicking around and order one (here).

Stop being an idiot – make Valentine’s Day cool this year..

– Seth

PS. You can get Badedas bubble bath from the Bantry Bay pharmacy. Send Garth my best.

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COMPETITION

Firstly, you won’t be able to win one of THREE Valentine’s Boxes we’re giving away unless you’ve read everything above.

Seriously – we’ll trick you and you’ll lose everything. Make sure you read everything above.

To stand a chance of winning one of those three boxes (delivered anytime up to Friday 12 February) you need to email us and tell us why your particular situation demands a Valentine’s Box? Is your boyfriend / girlfriend about to leave you because you’re not hot anymore? Are you a single loser with no friends who needs a bit of “comfort food”? Or maybe you’re in a loving relationship and you want to do something original and special..

Whatever it is – send an email with the subject “Love is in the air” to editor@2oceansvibe.com and let us know.

• Best three win.
• Compo ends Monday the 8th at 17h00.
• Judges decision final.
• Ts and Cs apply.

Too risky? Make sure and order your online here.