Are you ready to ‘run’ yet? You never were before, and you laughed at your panic-stricken friends claiming random heritage and taking the first plane to Sydney. But now, strangely, you find yourself considering the discussion. That’s probably why you clicked this story.

Now that you’ve clicked (thanks), here we are with the result of a headline that promises nothing. It’s just a provocative statement. You either agreed with it and are seeking comfort from likeminded people, or you disagreed and are upset with the statement. There is a third, I guess – those who don’t really give a toss, but had their interest piqued.

I don’t know if you are ‘trapped’ here in South Africa – or what that means, entirely. But I guess what people usually refer to in these cases, is whether or not you’ve got “options.”

“Options” would either come in the form of residency somewhere overseas, by way of love (marry a foreigner ) or business (working visa). Then there’s also the birth / lineage option – if you happen to carry an EU passport, that would mean you could go and settle somewhere on ‘The Continent’ or elsewhere.

Another option is cash – if you have so much of it that it doesn’t really make a difference. Because you can very easily get an EU passport by buying property in countries like Malta – so I’m told (see here). And most nations will have something for you to work with. Even if it means you setting up a business in that country. However real that ‘business’ looks by the time all the paperwork is done – as long as the transfer of cash “investment” is through, right?

And there you are, feeling so sorry for yourself because you don’t have ay of these “options.” You don’t have a foreign visa, your loved one is a local and you both have local passports. Oh, and you don’t have the minimum cash to buy property in Malta (or wherever) to get a passport.

Shame, poor you. And you’re probably still not playing the overseas lotteries, are you? No. Why would you ever risk giving yourself that chance? Especially with Wednesday’s US Powerball sitting on $180 million (R2.7 billion at our stunning new exchange rate).

God forbid you won.

At the end of the day you’re just a sad, negative twat, aren’t you?

That’s probably why you aren’t making the most of this great country – you just submerge yourself in negativity and panic. Instead of doing something to fix whatever problems we face. We’ve chatted about the universe before and we know exactly where you are.