I’d like you to think back to a time when you were young(er), when kids spent time playing outside in the dirt rather than huddled around their phones.

Maybe you had a tree house, maybe you built a pillow fort, but I’m betting somewhere along the line you gave each other code names. Operation Cookie Jar, agents Running Bear and Hungry Wolf at your service. Kids hey, what can you say.

So what if you asked a group of grown men, a group of men vying for the role of President of the United States of America to give themselves code names. It would never happen, except that’s exactly what went down at last night’s presidential debate. Each candidate was asked to say what their Secret Service code name would be, we shit you not, and here is what they offered:

• Chris Christie: “True Heart”
• John Kasich: “Unit One”
• Carly Fiorina: “Secretariat”
• Scott Walker: “Harley”
• Jeb Bush: “Ever-Ready”
• Donald Trump: “Humble”
• Ben Carson: “One Nation”
• Ted Cruz: “Cohiba”
• Marco Rubio: “Gator”
• Mike Huckabee: “Duck Hunter”
• Ron Paul: “Justice Never Sleeps”

Now we’ll start with the obvious, which I think is the Donald taking the piss out of himself – that or he has been exposed to open radiation. Ron Paul’s ‘Justice Never Sleeps’ is about as ‘Merican’ as they come, I half expected a bald eagle to swoop in carrying a flag at some point during his explanation. And John Kasich, someone I have never heard of, perhaps you might want to be a little more creative – you’ll never grab the public’s attention with a name like ‘Unit One’.

Any ideas as to what JZ or Julius’ Secret Service names might be? The Artful Dodger comes to mind…

[source:gawker]